Parenthood Trap!?!

It’s a fresh start of a brand new school year, oh how exciting it is. The children are back to school and not eating you out of a house and home; literally. Just think you may even be able to gain a piece of mind, but it all depends on your work schedule, right?

If you are a stay at home mom or work afternoons then you have the pleasure of having the morning’s all to yourself. If you work morning’s, however, you get NO break! (lol) It is true because while you are away at work, the children are away at school and when you get home, it is pretty much when everyone else get home. There is no personal “me” time unless you create it.

Where there is a will, there is a way!

Being that I was stuck on afternoons for over a year it made me realize not to ever take for granted the time that I have to spend with my family. Even when they are working my last nerve. When I am at home they are in my presence, if not directly in my presence they are not hard to get a hold to. I give them their space and most times I need a nap!

After thinking that I needed this major break in my life I found out that it wasn’t true. I have learned to be very careful about what I ask for. It is accurate that I needed time to clear my mind and let’s face it we all deal with stressful situations day to day. However, running away was never the answer.

Be careful of what you ask for because you might just get it

I mean I was exhausted, tired, overworked, and underpaid on top of all that a mother with damn near no help. What was I to think, say, or do? I just felt completely overwhelmed, incapable of loving my children properly because I felt like I could never sit down to catch a break. I just needed a small window to breathe and instead of taking charge of my life and this new situation I just wanted to run away. The truth of the matter is my fianće had my back, but was it fair for him to take on another person’s responsibility when they are able?

I thought I wanted to put a space in between myself and the children, I felt suffocated.

I found a job working 12-9p I thought this would give me the right amount of time in order to come home and deal with it all. A fresh start, right boy was I wrong! I hated it!! Not being able to pick my girls up from school, depending on other people to help carry my load, to say the least, it was a total nightmare. To make matters worse, when I tried to work the morning shift, I was told that there were no openings available.

Jesus, please fix it!!!

I don’t know what I want anymore is what I thought to myself. I felt lost because things were not looking up for me or at least I felt that way. Drowning in my own sorrow, I wonder if anybody could hear my silent cries.

God must have heard me because I wouldn’t trade another day shift to night shift if I can help it. It makes me cringe at the thought of me being away from home, from my family while life is happening.

As parents and especially as mothers life can become very draining if we let it. There are some ways we can encourage ourselves as time progresses. Peace is needed within your home and within your mind.

Steps to finding inner peace

1. Pray

2. Read

3. Draw

4. Take an hour out of your day and go for a walk

5. Meditate

6. Write

7. Be Happy

8. Breathe

Make at least one of these options your daily or weekly goal. It will help you get a clear mind and a better understanding of your surroundings. Life won’t seem so hard once you learn how to take time out for yourself. Do it for the ones that you love, and the ones that love you the most despite it all.

Order An Unnecessary Breakdown Within Your Relationship

Owner of Destined With A Purpose, Author, Blogger, and Entrepreneur

Email: tayniacoleman@gmail.com

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The Mommy Life 

Sitting in this space contemplating my next step. As everyone says my next move has got to be my best move, I have people that depend on me. 

You see it’s not about me anymore, it’s about my family wants, needs, and desires. What will move us to the next level? I’ve got to focus and that is my focus to make sure that I don’t fail, or at least never give up trying. There is no half stepping when it comes to getting the job done. 

In Young Jeezy voice: I put on for my FAMILY

I’ve got to show my girls what it’s like to live out your dreams, what it’s like to set goals and accomplish them, what it’s like to put others before yourself. No matter how many lose’s we have faced I have and will never give up on us. See I am a mother, a soon to be Wife, I am a goal getter, a dream chaser. I have to show them (my children) the light of life.

When life hits them I will always be there to pick up the pieces because that’s what mom’s do. Your children have to know that if nobody has their back that their mommy does. Promises are not meant to be broken so, it literally irritates me when a person makes promise after promise and never keep them. 

Mom’s make it all happen no matter what the cost

Life can throw you for a loop sometimes but it’s up to you to decide how to handle the outcome. Every situation may not come out as planned, but that’s okay, learn to adjust and stay focused.

Living a “mommy life” is all about sacrifices for your children because at the end of the day they depend on you the most. There is no half stepping when it comes to them. They are always top priority.

If a situation arises that you feel that you can’t handle, talk it out. Get all the details, gather your thoughts, sleep on it, and pray on it. The answer will come to you, ask for guidance throughout every situation.

God will see you through…remember God won’t put more on you than you can bare.

God Bless

Taynia A. Coleman

Blended Families

Some families are created in different ways but are still, in every way, a family

A blended family starts with a couple that comes together with children from a previous relationship. Sometimes they may not have children together, but when the family comes together his children become her (the wife) children, and her children become his (the husband) children. The children now have additional siblings and at first, it may be a bit much or the family can all come together perfectly. It just depends on where everybody is, as far as their thought process. It is important to make sure that everyone understands that they are important in this new family role and that they are all loved the same.

Turn Your House Into A Home for Everyone, and Fill It With Love

pexels-photo-259588Everyone is coming from different backgrounds with different teachings and different experiences. It is important to keep in mind that everyone has to adjust to a new situation, there will be a lot of agreements and disagreements, as you figure out this new life. No one is expected to get everything right, with parenting there are a lot of trial and error that occurs. You are still learning each other and trying to find out what everybody likes are, and what their dislikes are. Golden Rule: Never put pressure on a person, give everyone proper time to get used to the family, and the bonding will start to take place.

Life is what YOU make It

At times I know that it does get hard, especially when teenagers are involved because no one likes change. They are used to having their mom, or their dad to themselves, and now having to share them can be devastating to a child. It could make or break the relationship/family, but the key is to stay strong, stick to what you have developed as a family, and everything will fall into place.

fog-mist-golden-sunrise-73756

Being that I am from a blended family, and my family is now becoming a blended family I do have a few tips to offer.

  1. Family meetings are very important. It gives a chance for the parents to lay out the ground rules and get a feel of what everyone is feeling. In this meeting establish that the other adult/parent has the same authority as the other, let it be known that respect is expected on all ends.
  2. Family nights bring on a special bond while having fun. This can be from sitting in the house having movie or game night or finding activities outside of the house.
  3. Keep all lines of communication open and clear. It is important for the parents to be on the same page, and also, it is very important to get the children opinions. If someone is having issues adjusting then it must be brought to the table.
  4. Prayer is always essential; remember a family that prays together stays together.
  5. Always make sure that the children are comfortable with this new life. Take some time out just to hear their thoughts and concerns and come up with ways for everyone to adjust.

God Bless,

Taynia A. Coleman

Owner of Destined With A Purpose, Blogger, and Entrepreneur

Website: www.tayniacoleman.com

Email: tayniacoleman@gmail.com

Picture Credits: http://www.unsplash.com

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taniya

Bonding and Praying for Our Daughter’s

A mother is a daughter’s first best friend

One of the first and most important relationships we have in life is with our mother. She cares for you, nurtures you, protects you, and love you; unconditionally. From the womb, she comforts you, calms you, and maybe even sing to you. You feel every emotion that she feels while you’re still inside her womb because at this moment you are one. You are connected and although some relationships change you will always have a special connection with your mother.

Mother and daughter relationship is a special bond that spans the years. Through laughter, worry, smiles and tears. A sense of trust that can’t be broken, a depth of love sometimes unspoken. -Unknown

There are a lot of mother’s and daughter’s with an unbreakable bond, and then there are the not so good mother and daughter type of relationships. It’s sad to see the bond broken between a mother and daughter because the bond is so special. It makes a person wonder what could have caused this type of breakdown within their relationship.

The Reality of it is, is that there are a lot of mother’s that dislike their children because of their child’s father. In their eyes all they can see out of their child is the hurt pressed upon them from their child’s father. It’s not right, and it’s not fair to the child, this type of relationship can bring on psychological problems for both, mother and child. After so long the daughter/child starts to hate their mother for improperly loving them, which can and will bring on a lifetime of pain if no one seeks out help.

As a Mother of three girls myself, I pray for my children all the time. I pray that our relationships stay bonded and that they will always honor me as I honor my mother. I pray for their relationship as sister’s because sisters are important. I pray for us as a unit; as a family.

This is one of the most important relationships that I have because I know that in their hearts they will always love me and they will always cherish our bond. This does not mean that our relationship is perfect, but it is real and it is pure. For a mother to raise daughter’s I know first hand that it is not easy and it does get hard sometimes. Attitudes, pride, disrespect can creep in sometimes but you have to be able to stop that at the door so that the problem won’t escalate.

I made a vow to myself to always be by their side and to always guide them through this life.

No matter what the situation, it may be good or bad they will always have my support. It is always very important to talk to them on their level and to always give the best advice because they depend on you. Though it may not seem like it they are always watching, and listening to everything you say and do. I pray that I never misled them, or misguide them. I always ask God to protect them as any mother would do. I pray for our bond as mother and daughters because it is important to me.

Just a few tips to think about:

1. Always be a listening ear and an open ear to your child.

By showing them that you are trustworthy this will open doors for your relationship and they don’t be so reluctant to come and talk to you.

2. Never make them feel less important to you by never taking time out for them.

3. Check on them just to see how they are doing.

4. Love them wholeheartedly, never take your anger and frustrations out on them. They need you the most!

5. Remind them that they are beautiful, precious, and loved that way they won’t be so shocked when a boy tells them that. It will also give them confidence and it will start to build their self-worth.

6. Last but not least, remember that sometimes as young girls, they just need a hug and kiss to let them know they are adored. Hug your child and let them know everything is alright!

Remember how emotional you were as a girl? Learn to compromise and be understanding but please don’t get run over!

God Bless, Taynia

Owner of Destined With A Purpose, Blogger, and Entrepreneur

Email: tayniacoleman@gmail.com

Picture Credits: http://www.pexels.com

Follow Ms. Taynia on INSTAGRAM

taniya