Parenthood Trap!?!

It’s a fresh start of a brand new school year, oh how exciting it is. The children are back to school and not eating you out of a house and home; literally. Just think you may even be able to gain a piece of mind, but it all depends on your work schedule, right?

If you are a stay at home mom or work afternoons then you have the pleasure of having the morning’s all to yourself. If you work morning’s, however, you get NO break! (lol) It is true because while you are away at work, the children are away at school and when you get home, it is pretty much when everyone else get home. There is no personal “me” time unless you create it.

Where there is a will, there is a way!

Being that I was stuck on afternoons for over a year it made me realize not to ever take for granted the time that I have to spend with my family. Even when they are working my last nerve. When I am at home they are in my presence, if not directly in my presence they are not hard to get a hold to. I give them their space and most times I need a nap!

After thinking that I needed this major break in my life I found out that it wasn’t true. I have learned to be very careful about what I ask for. It is accurate that I needed time to clear my mind and let’s face it we all deal with stressful situations day to day. However, running away was never the answer.

Be careful of what you ask for because you might just get it

I mean I was exhausted, tired, overworked, and underpaid on top of all that a mother with damn near no help. What was I to think, say, or do? I just felt completely overwhelmed, incapable of loving my children properly because I felt like I could never sit down to catch a break. I just needed a small window to breathe and instead of taking charge of my life and this new situation I just wanted to run away. The truth of the matter is my fianće had my back, but was it fair for him to take on another person’s responsibility when they are able?

I thought I wanted to put a space in between myself and the children, I felt suffocated.

I found a job working 12-9p I thought this would give me the right amount of time in order to come home and deal with it all. A fresh start, right boy was I wrong! I hated it!! Not being able to pick my girls up from school, depending on other people to help carry my load, to say the least, it was a total nightmare. To make matters worse, when I tried to work the morning shift, I was told that there were no openings available.

Jesus, please fix it!!!

I don’t know what I want anymore is what I thought to myself. I felt lost because things were not looking up for me or at least I felt that way. Drowning in my own sorrow, I wonder if anybody could hear my silent cries.

God must have heard me because I wouldn’t trade another day shift to night shift if I can help it. It makes me cringe at the thought of me being away from home, from my family while life is happening.

As parents and especially as mothers life can become very draining if we let it. There are some ways we can encourage ourselves as time progresses. Peace is needed within your home and within your mind.

Steps to finding inner peace

1. Pray

2. Read

3. Draw

4. Take an hour out of your day and go for a walk

5. Meditate

6. Write

7. Be Happy

8. Breathe

Make at least one of these options your daily or weekly goal. It will help you get a clear mind and a better understanding of your surroundings. Life won’t seem so hard once you learn how to take time out for yourself. Do it for the ones that you love, and the ones that love you the most despite it all.

Order An Unnecessary Breakdown Within Your Relationship

Owner of Destined With A Purpose, Author, Blogger, and Entrepreneur

Email: tayniacoleman@gmail.com

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My Pain became My Purpose

January 15, 2013, a lot had changed for me. I DIVORCED a lot of difficult situations in my life. I left behind emotional pain, emotional turmoil, uncertainty, unbalance, depression, sadness, drama, mental and physical abuse, pain, rejection, sickness, and most of all I let go of a toxic marriage. Now, at the time I was going through all of this, I couldn’t see any of that, but today looking back over my life I see it all. I thank God for giving me the strength to find myself again, to find happiness again, to find joy again, and most importantly to find love again.

I was hurting, I was devasted because I couldn’t believe love didn’t love me.

Trapped in my mind, but most of all trapped in my heart along with my emotions. What was I to do in this situation, I couldn’t believe how things took a total turn for the worse. But, this was life, this was my life. This was my story I became torn between doing the right thing or still living a married life as a wife to a man that was already too far gone. I decided to do my own thang and eventually that wasn’t good enough anymore because I still felt an empty void. I searched for myself high and low, but I was nowhere to be found. I became cold and dangerous, I could care less about what was going on around me. There was no peace to be found, I began to drown my sorrows with liquor and wine. It was just me myself and I trying to figure out my next move, my escape, THE plan of action but I came up with nothing. Maybe because I did not want to be looked at as a failure is why I put up with so much. I can’t really tell you why I spent 9 yrs in a marriage that was really over after 3 yrs, but what I can tell you is that I learned a lot about myself and others. A lot about life, relationships and the lack thereof, I learned to depend on God more and to trust Him completely in the darkest time of my life.

I learned to let go of things that no longer serve a purpose for me in my life.

It’s no point of holding on to something that hurt you and brings harm to your body. Just let it go and if it’s meant to be, whatever it is, it will find it’s way back to you.

No drama, no setbacks, no more confusion just peace within my mind. No more staying up late nights concerning myself about someone else. I had to give it all to God, and the moment I fully put my trust in Him I became much clear with my purpose, my vision, and my passion here on earth.

How can you help somebody if you have never experienced anything?

My purpose is to serve others that’s been broken and left to pick up all the pieces. My purpose is to show you how to heal your heart and to love yourself again. My purpose is to show you how important forgiveness is in your life. My purpose is to show you how to turn your pain into your purpose. We were all out on this earth for a reason and I don’t believe it was just to suffer. Whatever you’re going through be sure to learn from it and grow from it.

In my upcoming book An Unnecessary Breakdown Within Your Relationship it will give you the keys to being in a happy space, keys to having a healthy life and keys to having a happy relationship. It will teach you how to forgive and be forgiven. After each chapter, I have included very powerful prayers to pray for yourself and your spouse. If you are going through a rough patch then this book will be for you.

Preorders will be available soon. As always GOD Bless!

Owner of Destined With A Purpose, Author, Blogger, Publisher, and Entrepreneur

Email: tayniacoleman@gmail.com

Follow Ms. Taynia on INSTAGRAM

Mindset MakeOver

Stepping into 2018 with the right tools and the right mindset is so imperative. You should see nothing but better for your situation(s). Speak Life into Every situation and weed out all the negative thoughts, weed out all your fears, and instead of worrying…PRAY while PUSH(ing) your way through.

            It can’t stay dark forever

Knowing that there is GREATNESS on the other side should be just enough motivation to get your creative juices flowing. It’s never to late too start, as long as you start. It doesn’t matter your age, shape, or color God has a purpose for your life, but until you take action it will never manifest.

What could you do to help change.  your life in this very moment, that’s right; it all begins with a thought; a positive thought.

Take some time out to write out the vision God has given you, also ask God to reveal the sources and resources to you. In order for your vision to come to past, you must have the right sources and resources. God will start sending the right people in your life just when you need them.

Be quick to listen, take notes, and dig deeper for a greater revelation. It is true that God reveals, but you have to have a clear mind to hear, be willing, and obedient to grasp this thing. It is imperative that you do your part! Above all else please, stop doubting yourself! If He brought you to it, you better believe that He will bring you through it.

Be great, be you, and be #destinedwithapurpose in everything that you do, because if there is no plan with your purpose then your wants and desires won’t go very far.

Takeover your life by making up in your mind that you will no longer stay in the (mind) prison that you have trapped yourself in.

Here are five quick steps to get you started:

1. Train your brain to think positive. Every time there is a negative thought cancel it out and replace it with a positive thought. Start to pray if you can’t think of anything positive to say.

2. Surround yourself with positive people.

3. If you’re  in a negative environment start making your exit plan. How can you receive a breakthrough if there is never any positive energy?

4. Start listening to motivational speakers/music, read books, and do daily Affirmations several times a day.

5. It is important to get a journal and a planner in order to keep notes, ideas, visions, and plans. Order your weekly 2018 inspiring planner today.

In this time of your life, your main focus should be you and God. If you do not allow yourself to heal and grow how can you be any good for anybody? You just can’t! It’s okay to take time out to work on yourself. You must feel good about your life and the situations that concern you. Now, this is no walk in the park, you must do the work in order to bring change to your life. Don’t give up because you remained positive for one day and nothing happened. It’s happening everytime you position yourself for better, everytime you redirect your thoughts you are making a change. Stay content, stay consistent, and be humble because this is only a test, a test that you must pass this time.

Never give up on yourself because God is not through with you! You’ve got work to do. Write out your #goals and #affirmations and get started.

Welcome to #positivevibesonly status. Be blessed.

Owner of Destined With A Purpose, Blogger, and Entrepreneur

Email: tayniacoleman@gmail.com

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The End of 2017 and The Beginning of 2018

Happy-New-Year-2018-Images-1

I am so excited and saddened that we are at the close of 2017. Going into this year I knew that great things were going to happen this year for me, but I couldn’t tell you how, or what.

I knew because at the end of 2016 I decided I was going to take my life in a different direction.

I began to set goals, created a Vision board, created a Declaration and Affirmations board, and a Business board as well. I hung them around my room as well as I setup notes on my phone to repeat to myself (whenever I remembered). I wrote myself a letter as a reminder of where I was and where I was going. That letter has helped me through some tough spots in 2017, it has brought me joy, and it has brought tears sometimes as I read it.

So much has transpired in this year and I have totally stepped outside of my comfort zone. It was something I had to do, I had to get out of my own way in order to live the life I have envisioned. I had to release the fear that has kept me captive all these years. I relaunched my blog and actually informed people about it. I know that sounds small but it was a major step for me. This one small thing has opened a few doors for me and there is so more to come.

2018 gold

I am super excited for 2018, the year of #Increase and #Abundance. I plan to increase spiritually, mentally, physically, my businesses will increase, I know that everything will be on a higher level. It’s time to expand! I will go where the Lord leads me to go, and right now, that it is to help heal the broken hearted people that are silently hurting. God has given me this vision many years ago as I myself was going through a divorce. I know what it’s like to feel alone although you’re really not. I want to help people get to the next level in their life, I want to help people to grow and move past their fears, and disbelief.

What are you believing for yourself in 2018?

It all has to start with a thought, and that thought has to become your focus, your vision, your goal, and your dream. Write the vision and make it plain! What do you have on the inside of you that you need to give birth to? Tell yourself that it’s time to birth that thang into the world with greatness. It’s time to take action and be bold in your actions. Never give up on your dreams and hopes, your desires are still alive inside of you do not take it for granted. Do The Work!

Believe in Yourself for 2018, set smart goals, and the rest is up to you!! Get your 2018 #inspirational weekly planner today. Start planning and living your best life on purpose.

Ms. Taynia A. Coleman

Owner of Destined With A Purpose, Blogger, and Entrepreneur

Email: tayniacoleman@gmail.com

Follow Ms. Taynia on INSTAGRAM

The Mommy Life 

Sitting in this space contemplating my next step. As everyone says my next move has got to be my best move, I have people that depend on me. 

You see it’s not about me anymore, it’s about my family wants, needs, and desires. What will move us to the next level? I’ve got to focus and that is my focus to make sure that I don’t fail, or at least never give up trying. There is no half stepping when it comes to getting the job done. 

In Young Jeezy voice: I put on for my FAMILY

I’ve got to show my girls what it’s like to live out your dreams, what it’s like to set goals and accomplish them, what it’s like to put others before yourself. No matter how many lose’s we have faced I have and will never give up on us. See I am a mother, a soon to be Wife, I am a goal getter, a dream chaser. I have to show them (my children) the light of life.

When life hits them I will always be there to pick up the pieces because that’s what mom’s do. Your children have to know that if nobody has their back that their mommy does. Promises are not meant to be broken so, it literally irritates me when a person makes promise after promise and never keep them. 

Mom’s make it all happen no matter what the cost

Life can throw you for a loop sometimes but it’s up to you to decide how to handle the outcome. Every situation may not come out as planned, but that’s okay, learn to adjust and stay focused.

Living a “mommy life” is all about sacrifices for your children because at the end of the day they depend on you the most. There is no half stepping when it comes to them. They are always top priority.

If a situation arises that you feel that you can’t handle, talk it out. Get all the details, gather your thoughts, sleep on it, and pray on it. The answer will come to you, ask for guidance throughout every situation.

God will see you through…remember God won’t put more on you than you can bare.

God Bless

Taynia A. Coleman

Marriage: For Better or For Worse

I, (name), take you (name), to be my lawfully wedded (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.

Everybody is all for it when everything is smooth sailing. When the finances are just right, the bank account tight, the children are healthy, no one’s arguing and fighting, just contentment. When life falls into place for us we can’t help but be on a natural high because there is no stress, no failure, no pain, no suffering, no tears, everything and everybody is all walking on one accord. As much as we would love for it to stay this way life can happen at any moment. And what I mean by life, it means the roller coaster ride of the ups and downs of life, the tragedies, the attack on our marriages, the family, the silent drug problem, alcohol addiction, gambling, lying, cheating, deceit, your children are acting out, etc. It all can happen at any-time, it all can fall apart at any moment if we let it. Problems that we are dealing with internally, within ourselves can become even bigger if we don’t stop it in its tracks.

Change is inevitable we have to learn to embrace it head-on.

It’s important to stay prayerful and watchful while going through the good and the bad times.

You never know when you will need one of those prayers to pull on.

The bad times within a marriage can take a toll on the entire household.  The children can feel the effects and the stress of the arguments, and more than likely they will begin to act out. The first step is to try your best not to argue in front of the children, whatever it is should be discussed privately. Which is the hardest thing to do sometimes when you have to get things off your chest, but trust; there will be less confusion within the household.

Children should not hear every disagreement between you two. Only bring a situation to them after you and your significant other have come to a conclusion concerning them. By doing this it will not make them feel as though they need to choose a side. Stability is the key to winning in this area if it is an area of concern. Children need stability and consistency.

It is a balancing act especially when children are involved.

It is important to keep an open dialog to stay on track.

When you think about marriage you think of all the pretty things, all the excitement, and happiness but that’s not all marriage is. Can you stand the test of time, when things are turned upside down? Are you only invested in your relationship when everything is good, and not present when it all goes down? This is something to really dig deep and think about for a second. Did your vows mean anything to you at all or did you just say them because it is what’s normal?

In this instance, you should have realized, that it is very imperative to mean what you say and to say what you mean.

Get your vows out and think about what each and every statement mean to you. Try to figure out if you are in this for the long run, or just for the “good time” that don’t last always. Think about if you have your significant other back if they fail to be who you thought they were, or if they are struggling with something eternally. Are you the person that they can trust, the person that will never leave their side. For better or for worse, do you really mean it, it is definitely something to think about.

As always prayer and communication is the key to stand the test of time within any type of relationship. May God Bless Your Union.

God Bless,

Taynia A. Coleman

Owner of Destined With A Purpose, Blogger, and Entrepreneur

Website: www.tayniacoleman.com

Email: tayniacoleman@gmail.com

Follow Ms. Taynia on INSTAGRAM

taniya

via Marriage: For Better or For Worse — Get INSPIRED

Daughter of A Daughter 

A daughter of a daughter, a child of a child, my mother had me at the tender age of 15 years old. Coincidentally; her mother, my grandmother (the youngest of her siblings) had her first born at the age of 15 years old as well (talk about family history repeating itself). Being that my mother […]

Relationship Stages: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

The Good Times


Good times are always the best part of every relationship. The fun times are the greatest of all time, it’s a time period that you never want to end. Waking up in pure bliss because your heart is growing fonder for this relationship, falling in love over and over, again. Texting and calling throughout the day to make sure he’s not stressing at work, and him checking on you because he misses you. Being excited to make it home from a long day of work to lay up under bae, cuddle, talk, make sweet love. The sex is bomb because the chemistry between you two are like fireworks. What can top this feeling, nothing! There are no words that can describe this happy feeling in the air, nothing but love and happiness. And then…

The Bad Times

The Bad times don’t last long but they do take a lot out of your relationship. You lose focus on what’s important and how to make your relationship grow. The arguing is as consistent as it would be “in the ugly times” but it’s enough to make you go out and ponder what’s going on. This is a phase of ups and downs, one-moment y’all are cool, and the next your bickering for no real major reason. It just seems like you may need a little “me time ” which for some people getting some fresh air, or going for a walk to help clear your mind will get the job done. A lot of the time we bring home the frustrations of the world home and drop them on our partner’s lap without even knowing it. It’s ok to let him know how your day went, but it’s another to be angry and upset with him because of something your boss said to you.

Home is supposed to be your happy place, where there is peace and serenity. If you feel that you don’t have peace at home, or you all are arguing about the most dumbest thing I would advise you two to come together and have a long talk (without fighting) find out what issues are bothering him and vice versa. You can even pray about it and bring peace back into the atmosphere.

Where there is Love, there is also Peace

The Ugly Times

The Ugly times in a relationship will have you questioning your sanity. It’s worse than the bad times, it’s so much miscommunication that it will start to make you feel sick. Most times you can’t fully get your point across because either it comes out wrong, or it gets taken the wrong way. You began to think is this even worth fighting for, what are we doing, what am I doing?Constantly arguing, not being able to hear each other’s concerns, wants, or needs. On top of all of that, there is minimum to no sex, because of the lost of communication, there is no sex drive only frustration.

Not being able to see eye to eye has to be the worse.

It’s like no matter what you just can’t seem to get along. Every word, and every thought, and every feeling becomes a fight. The disrespect, dishonor is at an all-time low at this stage. Your only focus is to hurt each other with your words and actions something has to give!

Now, it is starting to affect your work, your off,  and everything feels like it’s falling apart. There is no win situation because your world is tumbling down. You began to feel as if you can’t breathe because there is no peace within your home. Something has to change but you don’t know what to change or how to change things. It’s a struggle sometimes, but if your relationship is going to work, you both have to reconnect and do the work apart (working on self), and together (working on the relationship as a whole).

Prayer does change things! This is not just a saying, this is real life situations.

Pray together, go to church together, turn your whole focus back to God, learn how to love each other the right way. God will lead you but you have to be willing to follow. Marriage/pre-marital counseling will always help in order to get the relationship heading in the right direction.

God Bless,

Taynia A. Coleman

Owner of Destined With A Purpose, Blogger, and Entrepreneur

Website: www.tayniacoleman.com

Email: tayniacoleman@gmail.com

Picture Credits: http://www.unsplash.com

Follow Ms. Taynia on INSTAGRAM

taniya