Tips on Self Love & Self Care

As women or as people, in general, we are constantly going, going, and going. Most of the time it is never for self, but for loved ones, our spouses, children, parents, siblings, friends, the job and we are never taking the time out for self. In life, we were taught to pretty much keep going and never to take a moment to stop and take time to evaluate self and properly heal ourselves. In life, there are times where one must slow down to pace ourselves so that we can maneuver through life the correct way. Let’s be real sometimes your brain need a break or a new focus, and how can you get refocused without being still? Your body need rest as well.

Sometimes we have to steal time to regain composure for ourselves

Being still in order to get clarity or to get direction and guidance from the Holy Spirit or as some may say your inner/higher self, the first step is to stop and listen. That is the mission. To do that you must take time for self even if you sit for five minutes to calm yourself and/or pray. This practice will bring you peace, relaxation, and inner healing. As time goes on you may want to increase the time to 15, 30, 45 minutes up to an hour is the goal (something I am still working on myself). Pray, meditate, be still, or just sit write and listen.

Make a decision to take personal time out of your day, your week, your month to love on yourself. This can include going for a walk, sitting by the water, going to get some ice cream, getting your nails and /or hair done, a massage, going to get a checkup, taking yourself on a date etc.

Sometimes we need to take our minds off of the heavy reality of this thing called life. Especially if we want to find peace and be at peace in our lives.

7 tips on self-love & self-care (in no particular order)

  1. Be Still (talk to God and wait for an answer)
  2. Accept what is & what isn’t (you can’t control everything)
  3. Never compare or compete with others (you never know what they had to do to get there)
  4. Stop overthinking EVERYTHING!!!
  5. Take walks to clear your mind
  6. Sit by the water/fire and relax by reading a book or writing
  7. Always practice gratitude be thankful

Last but not least if you have lost yourself in the process of life you must learn yourself again. Find out what your likes and dislikes are, what you like to do and what you don’t like to do. Find the real you on this self-love journey. And remember it is not selfish to love on you because if you don’t love yourself how can you ever believe that someone else will truly love you.

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Reflection of 2018

Looking back to say thank you, Father! 2018 has been a life-changing year for me. I have accomplished some amazing things that a couple of years ago I didn’t have the faith to step into. Things that I could not have even dreamed of has taken place in my life this year, and for that, I am forever grateful.

I have learned that when challenges come into play to take my mind off of the negative and focus more on the positive outcome. Staying optimistic gives me that option to push forward because I know once I get past the negative or “the hard stuff”, the good is right in the brink of things. In the darker days, there will always be light at the end of every tunnel, but it is up to you to get to the end of that tunnel.

Setting goals and setting deadlines are the models for 2019. Being my own boss…

I have been self-evaluating, listening to motivational speakers, getting coaching, and doing the work in order to change my life. It has put me in a greater place spiritually and mentally, it has lifted my focus and made me find my definite purpose in life. I no longer will stay stuck in life because I refuse to live that way. I am on a new path, a new journey that will no longer allow “getting stuck” to be an option for me. I am just so excited about what life has to offer.

If you want something different in life, you cannot be afraid to be open to trying something new.

By doing the work and staying positive with life is the only way that I was able to deal with death this year. I have never had someone pass away in my life who was so close to me…to never return to me. I lost my one and only aunty October 12, 2018, and it was very devastating for me and my family. At times I found myself brokenhearted, sad, mad and confused because I knew it wasn’t her time to go. She wanted to do so much more, but I had to realize that she suffered every day with pain in her body. So just maybe it was her time to go be set free from pain at least this is what I will forever have to believe. To my loving aunty rest peacefully and I love you!

Doing the mental and spiritual work is not a one-time thing. This is an everyday thing, this is a life journey to keep sane, to keep going, and to stay happy. In all things keep God first and He will direct your path!

2019 is the year of Manifestation so all the things you have been working toward will start coming to past. You must first set the goals, and write the visions, you must do the work in order to create the change you are looking for.

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Owner of Destined With A Purpose, Author, Blogger, Realtor, and Entrepreneur

Email: tayniacoleman@gmail.com

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The End of 2017 and The Beginning of 2018

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I am so excited and saddened that we are at the close of 2017. Going into this year I knew that great things were going to happen this year for me, but I couldn’t tell you how, or what.

I knew because at the end of 2016 I decided I was going to take my life in a different direction.

I began to set goals, created a Vision board, created a Declaration and Affirmations board, and a Business board as well. I hung them around my room as well as I setup notes on my phone to repeat to myself (whenever I remembered). I wrote myself a letter as a reminder of where I was and where I was going. That letter has helped me through some tough spots in 2017, it has brought me joy, and it has brought tears sometimes as I read it.

So much has transpired in this year and I have totally stepped outside of my comfort zone. It was something I had to do, I had to get out of my own way in order to live the life I have envisioned. I had to release the fear that has kept me captive all these years. I relaunched my blog and actually informed people about it. I know that sounds small but it was a major step for me. This one small thing has opened a few doors for me and there is so more to come.

2018 gold

I am super excited for 2018, the year of #Increase and #Abundance. I plan to increase spiritually, mentally, physically, my businesses will increase, I know that everything will be on a higher level. It’s time to expand! I will go where the Lord leads me to go, and right now, that it is to help heal the broken hearted people that are silently hurting. God has given me this vision many years ago as I myself was going through a divorce. I know what it’s like to feel alone although you’re really not. I want to help people get to the next level in their life, I want to help people to grow and move past their fears, and disbelief.

What are you believing for yourself in 2018?

It all has to start with a thought, and that thought has to become your focus, your vision, your goal, and your dream. Write the vision and make it plain! What do you have on the inside of you that you need to give birth to? Tell yourself that it’s time to birth that thang into the world with greatness. It’s time to take action and be bold in your actions. Never give up on your dreams and hopes, your desires are still alive inside of you do not take it for granted. Do The Work!

Believe in Yourself for 2018, set smart goals, and the rest is up to you!! Get your 2018 #inspirational weekly planner today. Start planning and living your best life on purpose.

Ms. Taynia A. Coleman

Owner of Destined With A Purpose, Blogger, and Entrepreneur

Email: tayniacoleman@gmail.com

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Marriage: For Better or For Worse

I, (name), take you (name), to be my lawfully wedded (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.

Everybody is all for it when everything is smooth sailing. When the finances are just right, the bank account tight, the children are healthy, no one’s arguing and fighting, just contentment. When life falls into place for us we can’t help but be on a natural high because there is no stress, no failure, no pain, no suffering, no tears, everything and everybody is all walking on one accord. As much as we would love for it to stay this way life can happen at any moment. And what I mean by life, it means the roller coaster ride of the ups and downs of life, the tragedies, the attack on our marriages, the family, the silent drug problem, alcohol addiction, gambling, lying, cheating, deceit, your children are acting out, etc. It all can happen at any-time, it all can fall apart at any moment if we let it. Problems that we are dealing with internally, within ourselves can become even bigger if we don’t stop it in its tracks.

Change is inevitable we have to learn to embrace it head-on.

It’s important to stay prayerful and watchful while going through the good and the bad times.

You never know when you will need one of those prayers to pull on.

The bad times within a marriage can take a toll on the entire household.  The children can feel the effects and the stress of the arguments, and more than likely they will begin to act out. The first step is to try your best not to argue in front of the children, whatever it is should be discussed privately. Which is the hardest thing to do sometimes when you have to get things off your chest, but trust; there will be less confusion within the household.

Children should not hear every disagreement between you two. Only bring a situation to them after you and your significant other have come to a conclusion concerning them. By doing this it will not make them feel as though they need to choose a side. Stability is the key to winning in this area if it is an area of concern. Children need stability and consistency.

It is a balancing act especially when children are involved.

It is important to keep an open dialog to stay on track.

When you think about marriage you think of all the pretty things, all the excitement, and happiness but that’s not all marriage is. Can you stand the test of time, when things are turned upside down? Are you only invested in your relationship when everything is good, and not present when it all goes down? This is something to really dig deep and think about for a second. Did your vows mean anything to you at all or did you just say them because it is what’s normal?

In this instance, you should have realized, that it is very imperative to mean what you say and to say what you mean.

Get your vows out and think about what each and every statement mean to you. Try to figure out if you are in this for the long run, or just for the “good time” that don’t last always. Think about if you have your significant other back if they fail to be who you thought they were, or if they are struggling with something eternally. Are you the person that they can trust, the person that will never leave their side. For better or for worse, do you really mean it, it is definitely something to think about.

As always prayer and communication is the key to stand the test of time within any type of relationship. May God Bless Your Union.

God Bless,

Taynia A. Coleman

Owner of Destined With A Purpose, Blogger, and Entrepreneur

Website: www.tayniacoleman.com

Email: tayniacoleman@gmail.com

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via Marriage: For Better or For Worse — Get INSPIRED

Relationship Stages: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

The Good Times


Good times are always the best part of every relationship. The fun times are the greatest of all time, it’s a time period that you never want to end. Waking up in pure bliss because your heart is growing fonder for this relationship, falling in love over and over, again. Texting and calling throughout the day to make sure he’s not stressing at work, and him checking on you because he misses you. Being excited to make it home from a long day of work to lay up under bae, cuddle, talk, make sweet love. The sex is bomb because the chemistry between you two are like fireworks. What can top this feeling, nothing! There are no words that can describe this happy feeling in the air, nothing but love and happiness. And then…

The Bad Times

The Bad times don’t last long but they do take a lot out of your relationship. You lose focus on what’s important and how to make your relationship grow. The arguing is as consistent as it would be “in the ugly times” but it’s enough to make you go out and ponder what’s going on. This is a phase of ups and downs, one-moment y’all are cool, and the next your bickering for no real major reason. It just seems like you may need a little “me time ” which for some people getting some fresh air, or going for a walk to help clear your mind will get the job done. A lot of the time we bring home the frustrations of the world home and drop them on our partner’s lap without even knowing it. It’s ok to let him know how your day went, but it’s another to be angry and upset with him because of something your boss said to you.

Home is supposed to be your happy place, where there is peace and serenity. If you feel that you don’t have peace at home, or you all are arguing about the most dumbest thing I would advise you two to come together and have a long talk (without fighting) find out what issues are bothering him and vice versa. You can even pray about it and bring peace back into the atmosphere.

Where there is Love, there is also Peace

The Ugly Times

The Ugly times in a relationship will have you questioning your sanity. It’s worse than the bad times, it’s so much miscommunication that it will start to make you feel sick. Most times you can’t fully get your point across because either it comes out wrong, or it gets taken the wrong way. You began to think is this even worth fighting for, what are we doing, what am I doing?Constantly arguing, not being able to hear each other’s concerns, wants, or needs. On top of all of that, there is minimum to no sex, because of the lost of communication, there is no sex drive only frustration.

Not being able to see eye to eye has to be the worse.

It’s like no matter what you just can’t seem to get along. Every word, and every thought, and every feeling becomes a fight. The disrespect, dishonor is at an all-time low at this stage. Your only focus is to hurt each other with your words and actions something has to give!

Now, it is starting to affect your work, your off,  and everything feels like it’s falling apart. There is no win situation because your world is tumbling down. You began to feel as if you can’t breathe because there is no peace within your home. Something has to change but you don’t know what to change or how to change things. It’s a struggle sometimes, but if your relationship is going to work, you both have to reconnect and do the work apart (working on self), and together (working on the relationship as a whole).

Prayer does change things! This is not just a saying, this is real life situations.

Pray together, go to church together, turn your whole focus back to God, learn how to love each other the right way. God will lead you but you have to be willing to follow. Marriage/pre-marital counseling will always help in order to get the relationship heading in the right direction.

God Bless,

Taynia A. Coleman

Owner of Destined With A Purpose, Blogger, and Entrepreneur

Website: www.tayniacoleman.com

Email: tayniacoleman@gmail.com

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Manifesting and Believing

In this life, have you ever felt the need to just be happy? The feeling just to be satisfied, just to be complete. This feeling that I have is indescribable, it’s like there’s so much to see and do in this world, but the problem is how do I go about manifesting everything I need in life?

Where much is given, much is required -Luke 12:48

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Those words have so much meaning to them. The more work you have, the more responsibility. The more money you have, the more responsibility. You have to know how much is too much! Don’t ask for something that you can’t handle. Take on as much as you can, but never more than you can handle. Some people just want all the luxury, but they do not want to work hard for it, we must know that hard work must always come into play…nothing is just given to you.

Keeping this in mind it is imperative that we have our mind in the right headspace. If you want more out of life stop doubting yourself.

Whatever you put your mind to don’t delay it, just do it! Set goals, and write them down. Say your daily affirmations and declarations, make a dream board and start working towards your dreams, pray and fast, seek God, daily. Seeing, saying, and doing these things everyday will began to transform your mindset, and you will start to see things coming into alignment. You have to create your future within your thoughts.

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A man is but the product of his thoughts what he thinks, he becomes. -Mahatma Gandhi

Things do not come to you by just wishing upon a star. God will send people your way or He will even give you signs to help you go in the right direction, but you have to know the signs, you have to pay attention. You can’t sit and wish you were employed: you actually have to get up and apply to several positions before being employed. If you don’t do your part, how can we expect God to do his part?

Faith without works is dead James 2:14

God Bless

Ms. Taynia A. Coleman

Owner of Destined With A Purpose, Blogger, and Entrepreneur
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Bonding and Praying for Our Daughter’s

A mother is a daughter’s first best friend

One of the first and most important relationships we have in life is with our mother. She cares for you, nurtures you, protects you, and love you; unconditionally. From the womb, she comforts you, calms you, and maybe even sing to you. You feel every emotion that she feels while you’re still inside her womb because at this moment you are one. You are connected and although some relationships change you will always have a special connection with your mother.

Mother and daughter relationship is a special bond that spans the years. Through laughter, worry, smiles and tears. A sense of trust that can’t be broken, a depth of love sometimes unspoken. -Unknown

There are a lot of mother’s and daughter’s with an unbreakable bond, and then there are the not so good mother and daughter type of relationships. It’s sad to see the bond broken between a mother and daughter because the bond is so special. It makes a person wonder what could have caused this type of breakdown within their relationship.

The Reality of it is, is that there are a lot of mother’s that dislike their children because of their child’s father. In their eyes all they can see out of their child is the hurt pressed upon them from their child’s father. It’s not right, and it’s not fair to the child, this type of relationship can bring on psychological problems for both, mother and child. After so long the daughter/child starts to hate their mother for improperly loving them, which can and will bring on a lifetime of pain if no one seeks out help.

As a Mother of three girls myself, I pray for my children all the time. I pray that our relationships stay bonded and that they will always honor me as I honor my mother. I pray for their relationship as sister’s because sisters are important. I pray for us as a unit; as a family.

This is one of the most important relationships that I have because I know that in their hearts they will always love me and they will always cherish our bond. This does not mean that our relationship is perfect, but it is real and it is pure. For a mother to raise daughter’s I know first hand that it is not easy and it does get hard sometimes. Attitudes, pride, disrespect can creep in sometimes but you have to be able to stop that at the door so that the problem won’t escalate.

I made a vow to myself to always be by their side and to always guide them through this life.

No matter what the situation, it may be good or bad they will always have my support. It is always very important to talk to them on their level and to always give the best advice because they depend on you. Though it may not seem like it they are always watching, and listening to everything you say and do. I pray that I never misled them, or misguide them. I always ask God to protect them as any mother would do. I pray for our bond as mother and daughters because it is important to me.

Just a few tips to think about:

1. Always be a listening ear and an open ear to your child.

By showing them that you are trustworthy this will open doors for your relationship and they don’t be so reluctant to come and talk to you.

2. Never make them feel less important to you by never taking time out for them.

3. Check on them just to see how they are doing.

4. Love them wholeheartedly, never take your anger and frustrations out on them. They need you the most!

5. Remind them that they are beautiful, precious, and loved that way they won’t be so shocked when a boy tells them that. It will also give them confidence and it will start to build their self-worth.

6. Last but not least, remember that sometimes as young girls, they just need a hug and kiss to let them know they are adored. Hug your child and let them know everything is alright!

Remember how emotional you were as a girl? Learn to compromise and be understanding but please don’t get run over!

God Bless, Taynia

Owner of Destined With A Purpose, Blogger, and Entrepreneur

Email: tayniacoleman@gmail.com

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Falling In Love; For Real This Time

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Just when I had given up on love, just when I made a commitment to stay focused on me, here comes real love. This love is a love that I have never known, it seems like a fairytale the way my hurt melts looking into his eyes. This love is what I thought I had way back when, but in reality, it doesn’t even compare. No disrespect, but there is a huge difference between someone saying that they love you, and someone actually taking the time out and showing that they love you.

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You see, he will always take the time out, to make sure that you’re safe and secure. You will be able to feel his love miles away because his heart beats that strong for you. It’s an indescribable feeling because it’s something so real.

Once you find real true love you will know because NO-THING can compare

Now I’m not trying to brag, just trying to drop some knowledge to you.

Like Erykah Badu says: Love of my life
You are my friend
Love of my life
A dude I can depend, yeah, yeah Love of my life
Feels like a simple true love, yeah

Real love is out there, you just need to be open to it. You too can find love again. Whatever, you have been through should always be a lesson of what NOT to do, again.

Real Men do still existence we just have to stop going for the first guy that says hello. You’re worth way more than that and you have to know and believe that. Your value is as precious as rubies per Peoverbs 31:10.

Proverbs 31:10

(KJV) 10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

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God created you to be virtuous and to take charge, but also to be soft, gentle, and to be a helpmate to your husband. You can’t be the help he needs if you’re always in charge. You have to know when to turn it off and when to turn it on. What works out in the field will not fly at home, because God called the man to be the head.

Sometimes we have to step aside and let the man lead and guide us.

He is there to protect you, lead you, and guide you. He is there to love you like no one else ever will. If you are not able to let him lead, then maybe you should say a quick prayer and ask for God to lead and guide you. Ask God to show you how to step back and let your husband lead, and TRUST me…God will show you.

Lastly, Ladies, if he is leading you the Godly way, and properly investing into your relationship, then let him stay focused.

God Bless

Ms. Taynia A. Coleman

Owner of Destined With A Purpose, Blogger, and Entrepreneur
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Relationships: I have changed. He has changed. We are changing.

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At the start of a relationship, everything is new and exciting. You take the time to find out what each other likes and dislikes are, you find out who a person really is. After talking for awhile you find out that you guys have more in common than not in common. You began to fall for one another, hard to the point that you guys talk day and night, and night and day.

Thoughts of him before falling asleep and thoughts of him when waking up, and let’s not mention the thoughts all throughout the day.

Some time has passed and you began to wonder if this will be the person who you will spend your forever with. Everything is loving and wonderful, and then you guys start to evolve together. In love in a total bliss until one day you want more out of life. Your thought process change and you no longer desire the simple things, you no longer want to just be ok with life.

You try to talk to your man and tell him things, you try to tell him your new wants, needs, and desires, but he’s not use to this new you. He doesn’t know how to deal with this new situation.

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All the while inside your starting to see that You no longer like what he likes and vice versa. Your conversations are different, he feels as though you have changed and he is right because you are evolving into the real you. You’ve grown, you no longer want or desire what you use to want. You want more out of life but he has grown content, he doesn’t know anything but the old you.

What do you do?!? That’s a good question because a lot of relationships get stuck at this point and pride gets hurt. Women change and Men change all the time, but if you’re going to stand the test of time you will need to grow TOGETHER.

Keep each other updated, talk about the hard stuff. Sit down and explain to him what you are feeling inside and eventually he will start to feel that same way and maybe even want more than you do. He will always want to see you happy and winning. He will be able to stand by your side and hold you down. He should be your confidant unless he just can’t accept or respect your changes, which in most cases, doesn’t really happen. Unless he never really wanted a future with you in the first place. This transition will separate the real from the fake.

No one stays the same, change is inevitable on this life journey.

He should be evolving or wanting to evolve because he sees how much you have grown. There is nothing better than to change with the love of your life, to want more out of life, and to grow together it is #priceless.

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Remember that if he is not happy for the change or even willing to change with you then you may want to do some inventory. You guys should be on the same page, at the end of the day.

God Bless

Ms. Taynia A. Coleman

Owner of Destined With A Purpose, Blogger, and Entrepreneur
Picture Credits: http://www.pexels.com

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