Tips on Self Love & Self Care

As women or as people, in general, we are constantly going, going, and going. Most of the time it is never for self, but for loved ones, our spouses, children, parents, siblings, friends, the job and we are never taking the time out for self. In life, we were taught to pretty much keep going and never to take a moment to stop and take time to evaluate self and properly heal ourselves. In life, there are times where one must slow down to pace ourselves so that we can maneuver through life the correct way. Let’s be real sometimes your brain need a break or a new focus, and how can you get refocused without being still? Your body need rest as well.

Sometimes we have to steal time to regain composure for ourselves

Being still in order to get clarity or to get direction and guidance from the Holy Spirit or as some may say your inner/higher self, the first step is to stop and listen. That is the mission. To do that you must take time for self even if you sit for five minutes to calm yourself and/or pray. This practice will bring you peace, relaxation, and inner healing. As time goes on you may want to increase the time to 15, 30, 45 minutes up to an hour is the goal (something I am still working on myself). Pray, meditate, be still, or just sit write and listen.

Make a decision to take personal time out of your day, your week, your month to love on yourself. This can include going for a walk, sitting by the water, going to get some ice cream, getting your nails and /or hair done, a massage, going to get a checkup, taking yourself on a date etc.

Sometimes we need to take our minds off of the heavy reality of this thing called life. Especially if we want to find peace and be at peace in our lives.

7 tips on self-love & self-care (in no particular order)

  1. Be Still (talk to God and wait for an answer)
  2. Accept what is & what isn’t (you can’t control everything)
  3. Never compare or compete with others (you never know what they had to do to get there)
  4. Stop overthinking EVERYTHING!!!
  5. Take walks to clear your mind
  6. Sit by the water/fire and relax by reading a book or writing
  7. Always practice gratitude be thankful

Last but not least if you have lost yourself in the process of life you must learn yourself again. Find out what your likes and dislikes are, what you like to do and what you don’t like to do. Find the real you on this self-love journey. And remember it is not selfish to love on you because if you don’t love yourself how can you ever believe that someone else will truly love you.

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Owner of Destined With A Purpose, Author, Blogger, Realtor, and Entrepreneur

Email: tayniacoleman@gmail.com

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Reflection of 2018

Looking back to say thank you, Father! 2018 has been a life-changing year for me. I have accomplished some amazing things that a couple of years ago I didn’t have the faith to step into. Things that I could not have even dreamed of has taken place in my life this year, and for that, I am forever grateful.

I have learned that when challenges come into play to take my mind off of the negative and focus more on the positive outcome. Staying optimistic gives me that option to push forward because I know once I get past the negative or “the hard stuff”, the good is right in the brink of things. In the darker days, there will always be light at the end of every tunnel, but it is up to you to get to the end of that tunnel.

Setting goals and setting deadlines are the models for 2019. Being my own boss…

I have been self-evaluating, listening to motivational speakers, getting coaching, and doing the work in order to change my life. It has put me in a greater place spiritually and mentally, it has lifted my focus and made me find my definite purpose in life. I no longer will stay stuck in life because I refuse to live that way. I am on a new path, a new journey that will no longer allow “getting stuck” to be an option for me. I am just so excited about what life has to offer.

If you want something different in life, you cannot be afraid to be open to trying something new.

By doing the work and staying positive with life is the only way that I was able to deal with death this year. I have never had someone pass away in my life who was so close to me…to never return to me. I lost my one and only aunty October 12, 2018, and it was very devastating for me and my family. At times I found myself brokenhearted, sad, mad and confused because I knew it wasn’t her time to go. She wanted to do so much more, but I had to realize that she suffered every day with pain in her body. So just maybe it was her time to go be set free from pain at least this is what I will forever have to believe. To my loving aunty rest peacefully and I love you!

Doing the mental and spiritual work is not a one-time thing. This is an everyday thing, this is a life journey to keep sane, to keep going, and to stay happy. In all things keep God first and He will direct your path!

2019 is the year of Manifestation so all the things you have been working toward will start coming to past. You must first set the goals, and write the visions, you must do the work in order to create the change you are looking for.

Order Your Book An Unnecessary Breakdown Within Your Relationship

Owner of Destined With A Purpose, Author, Blogger, Realtor, and Entrepreneur

Email: tayniacoleman@gmail.com

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My Pain became My Purpose

January 15, 2013, a lot had changed for me. I DIVORCED a lot of difficult situations in my life. I left behind emotional pain, emotional turmoil, uncertainty, unbalance, depression, sadness, drama, mental and physical abuse, pain, rejection, sickness, and most of all I let go of a toxic marriage. Now, at the time I was going through all of this, I couldn’t see any of that, but today looking back over my life I see it all. I thank God for giving me the strength to find myself again, to find happiness again, to find joy again, and most importantly to find love again.

I was hurting, I was devasted because I couldn’t believe love didn’t love me.

Trapped in my mind, but most of all trapped in my heart along with my emotions. What was I to do in this situation, I couldn’t believe how things took a total turn for the worse. But, this was life, this was my life. This was my story I became torn between doing the right thing or still living a married life as a wife to a man that was already too far gone. I decided to do my own thang and eventually that wasn’t good enough anymore because I still felt an empty void. I searched for myself high and low, but I was nowhere to be found. I became cold and dangerous, I could care less about what was going on around me. There was no peace to be found, I began to drown my sorrows with liquor and wine. It was just me myself and I trying to figure out my next move, my escape, THE plan of action but I came up with nothing. Maybe because I did not want to be looked at as a failure is why I put up with so much. I can’t really tell you why I spent 9 yrs in a marriage that was really over after 3 yrs, but what I can tell you is that I learned a lot about myself and others. A lot about life, relationships and the lack thereof, I learned to depend on God more and to trust Him completely in the darkest time of my life.

I learned to let go of things that no longer serve a purpose for me in my life.

It’s no point of holding on to something that hurt you and brings harm to your body. Just let it go and if it’s meant to be, whatever it is, it will find it’s way back to you.

No drama, no setbacks, no more confusion just peace within my mind. No more staying up late nights concerning myself about someone else. I had to give it all to God, and the moment I fully put my trust in Him I became much clear with my purpose, my vision, and my passion here on earth.

How can you help somebody if you have never experienced anything?

My purpose is to serve others that’s been broken and left to pick up all the pieces. My purpose is to show you how to heal your heart and to love yourself again. My purpose is to show you how important forgiveness is in your life. My purpose is to show you how to turn your pain into your purpose. We were all out on this earth for a reason and I don’t believe it was just to suffer. Whatever you’re going through be sure to learn from it and grow from it.

In my upcoming book An Unnecessary Breakdown Within Your Relationship it will give you the keys to being in a happy space, keys to having a healthy life and keys to having a happy relationship. It will teach you how to forgive and be forgiven. After each chapter, I have included very powerful prayers to pray for yourself and your spouse. If you are going through a rough patch then this book will be for you.

Preorders will be available soon. As always GOD Bless!

Owner of Destined With A Purpose, Author, Blogger, Publisher, and Entrepreneur

Email: tayniacoleman@gmail.com

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Mindset MakeOver

Stepping into 2018 with the right tools and the right mindset is so imperative. You should see nothing but better for your situation(s). Speak Life into Every situation and weed out all the negative thoughts, weed out all your fears, and instead of worrying…PRAY while PUSH(ing) your way through.

            It can’t stay dark forever

Knowing that there is GREATNESS on the other side should be just enough motivation to get your creative juices flowing. It’s never to late too start, as long as you start. It doesn’t matter your age, shape, or color God has a purpose for your life, but until you take action it will never manifest.

What could you do to help change.  your life in this very moment, that’s right; it all begins with a thought; a positive thought.

Take some time out to write out the vision God has given you, also ask God to reveal the sources and resources to you. In order for your vision to come to past, you must have the right sources and resources. God will start sending the right people in your life just when you need them.

Be quick to listen, take notes, and dig deeper for a greater revelation. It is true that God reveals, but you have to have a clear mind to hear, be willing, and obedient to grasp this thing. It is imperative that you do your part! Above all else please, stop doubting yourself! If He brought you to it, you better believe that He will bring you through it.

Be great, be you, and be #destinedwithapurpose in everything that you do, because if there is no plan with your purpose then your wants and desires won’t go very far.

Takeover your life by making up in your mind that you will no longer stay in the (mind) prison that you have trapped yourself in.

Here are five quick steps to get you started:

1. Train your brain to think positive. Every time there is a negative thought cancel it out and replace it with a positive thought. Start to pray if you can’t think of anything positive to say.

2. Surround yourself with positive people.

3. If you’re  in a negative environment start making your exit plan. How can you receive a breakthrough if there is never any positive energy?

4. Start listening to motivational speakers/music, read books, and do daily Affirmations several times a day.

5. It is important to get a journal and a planner in order to keep notes, ideas, visions, and plans. Order your weekly 2018 inspiring planner today.

In this time of your life, your main focus should be you and God. If you do not allow yourself to heal and grow how can you be any good for anybody? You just can’t! It’s okay to take time out to work on yourself. You must feel good about your life and the situations that concern you. Now, this is no walk in the park, you must do the work in order to bring change to your life. Don’t give up because you remained positive for one day and nothing happened. It’s happening everytime you position yourself for better, everytime you redirect your thoughts you are making a change. Stay content, stay consistent, and be humble because this is only a test, a test that you must pass this time.

Never give up on yourself because God is not through with you! You’ve got work to do. Write out your #goals and #affirmations and get started.

Welcome to #positivevibesonly status. Be blessed.

Owner of Destined With A Purpose, Blogger, and Entrepreneur

Email: tayniacoleman@gmail.com

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The End of 2017 and The Beginning of 2018

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I am so excited and saddened that we are at the close of 2017. Going into this year I knew that great things were going to happen this year for me, but I couldn’t tell you how, or what.

I knew because at the end of 2016 I decided I was going to take my life in a different direction.

I began to set goals, created a Vision board, created a Declaration and Affirmations board, and a Business board as well. I hung them around my room as well as I setup notes on my phone to repeat to myself (whenever I remembered). I wrote myself a letter as a reminder of where I was and where I was going. That letter has helped me through some tough spots in 2017, it has brought me joy, and it has brought tears sometimes as I read it.

So much has transpired in this year and I have totally stepped outside of my comfort zone. It was something I had to do, I had to get out of my own way in order to live the life I have envisioned. I had to release the fear that has kept me captive all these years. I relaunched my blog and actually informed people about it. I know that sounds small but it was a major step for me. This one small thing has opened a few doors for me and there is so more to come.

2018 gold

I am super excited for 2018, the year of #Increase and #Abundance. I plan to increase spiritually, mentally, physically, my businesses will increase, I know that everything will be on a higher level. It’s time to expand! I will go where the Lord leads me to go, and right now, that it is to help heal the broken hearted people that are silently hurting. God has given me this vision many years ago as I myself was going through a divorce. I know what it’s like to feel alone although you’re really not. I want to help people get to the next level in their life, I want to help people to grow and move past their fears, and disbelief.

What are you believing for yourself in 2018?

It all has to start with a thought, and that thought has to become your focus, your vision, your goal, and your dream. Write the vision and make it plain! What do you have on the inside of you that you need to give birth to? Tell yourself that it’s time to birth that thang into the world with greatness. It’s time to take action and be bold in your actions. Never give up on your dreams and hopes, your desires are still alive inside of you do not take it for granted. Do The Work!

Believe in Yourself for 2018, set smart goals, and the rest is up to you!! Get your 2018 #inspirational weekly planner today. Start planning and living your best life on purpose.

Ms. Taynia A. Coleman

Owner of Destined With A Purpose, Blogger, and Entrepreneur

Email: tayniacoleman@gmail.com

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The Mommy Life 

Sitting in this space contemplating my next step. As everyone says my next move has got to be my best move, I have people that depend on me. 

You see it’s not about me anymore, it’s about my family wants, needs, and desires. What will move us to the next level? I’ve got to focus and that is my focus to make sure that I don’t fail, or at least never give up trying. There is no half stepping when it comes to getting the job done. 

In Young Jeezy voice: I put on for my FAMILY

I’ve got to show my girls what it’s like to live out your dreams, what it’s like to set goals and accomplish them, what it’s like to put others before yourself. No matter how many lose’s we have faced I have and will never give up on us. See I am a mother, a soon to be Wife, I am a goal getter, a dream chaser. I have to show them (my children) the light of life.

When life hits them I will always be there to pick up the pieces because that’s what mom’s do. Your children have to know that if nobody has their back that their mommy does. Promises are not meant to be broken so, it literally irritates me when a person makes promise after promise and never keep them. 

Mom’s make it all happen no matter what the cost

Life can throw you for a loop sometimes but it’s up to you to decide how to handle the outcome. Every situation may not come out as planned, but that’s okay, learn to adjust and stay focused.

Living a “mommy life” is all about sacrifices for your children because at the end of the day they depend on you the most. There is no half stepping when it comes to them. They are always top priority.

If a situation arises that you feel that you can’t handle, talk it out. Get all the details, gather your thoughts, sleep on it, and pray on it. The answer will come to you, ask for guidance throughout every situation.

God will see you through…remember God won’t put more on you than you can bare.

God Bless

Taynia A. Coleman

Blended Families

Some families are created in different ways but are still, in every way, a family

A blended family starts with a couple that comes together with children from a previous relationship. Sometimes they may not have children together, but when the family comes together his children become her (the wife) children, and her children become his (the husband) children. The children now have additional siblings and at first, it may be a bit much or the family can all come together perfectly. It just depends on where everybody is, as far as their thought process. It is important to make sure that everyone understands that they are important in this new family role and that they are all loved the same.

Turn Your House Into A Home for Everyone, and Fill It With Love

pexels-photo-259588Everyone is coming from different backgrounds with different teachings and different experiences. It is important to keep in mind that everyone has to adjust to a new situation, there will be a lot of agreements and disagreements, as you figure out this new life. No one is expected to get everything right, with parenting there are a lot of trial and error that occurs. You are still learning each other and trying to find out what everybody likes are, and what their dislikes are. Golden Rule: Never put pressure on a person, give everyone proper time to get used to the family, and the bonding will start to take place.

Life is what YOU make It

At times I know that it does get hard, especially when teenagers are involved because no one likes change. They are used to having their mom, or their dad to themselves, and now having to share them can be devastating to a child. It could make or break the relationship/family, but the key is to stay strong, stick to what you have developed as a family, and everything will fall into place.

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Being that I am from a blended family, and my family is now becoming a blended family I do have a few tips to offer.

  1. Family meetings are very important. It gives a chance for the parents to lay out the ground rules and get a feel of what everyone is feeling. In this meeting establish that the other adult/parent has the same authority as the other, let it be known that respect is expected on all ends.
  2. Family nights bring on a special bond while having fun. This can be from sitting in the house having movie or game night or finding activities outside of the house.
  3. Keep all lines of communication open and clear. It is important for the parents to be on the same page, and also, it is very important to get the children opinions. If someone is having issues adjusting then it must be brought to the table.
  4. Prayer is always essential; remember a family that prays together stays together.
  5. Always make sure that the children are comfortable with this new life. Take some time out just to hear their thoughts and concerns and come up with ways for everyone to adjust.

God Bless,

Taynia A. Coleman

Owner of Destined With A Purpose, Blogger, and Entrepreneur

Website: www.tayniacoleman.com

Email: tayniacoleman@gmail.com

Picture Credits: http://www.unsplash.com

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taniya

Relationship Stages: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

The Good Times


Good times are always the best part of every relationship. The fun times are the greatest of all time, it’s a time period that you never want to end. Waking up in pure bliss because your heart is growing fonder for this relationship, falling in love over and over, again. Texting and calling throughout the day to make sure he’s not stressing at work, and him checking on you because he misses you. Being excited to make it home from a long day of work to lay up under bae, cuddle, talk, make sweet love. The sex is bomb because the chemistry between you two are like fireworks. What can top this feeling, nothing! There are no words that can describe this happy feeling in the air, nothing but love and happiness. And then…

The Bad Times

The Bad times don’t last long but they do take a lot out of your relationship. You lose focus on what’s important and how to make your relationship grow. The arguing is as consistent as it would be “in the ugly times” but it’s enough to make you go out and ponder what’s going on. This is a phase of ups and downs, one-moment y’all are cool, and the next your bickering for no real major reason. It just seems like you may need a little “me time ” which for some people getting some fresh air, or going for a walk to help clear your mind will get the job done. A lot of the time we bring home the frustrations of the world home and drop them on our partner’s lap without even knowing it. It’s ok to let him know how your day went, but it’s another to be angry and upset with him because of something your boss said to you.

Home is supposed to be your happy place, where there is peace and serenity. If you feel that you don’t have peace at home, or you all are arguing about the most dumbest thing I would advise you two to come together and have a long talk (without fighting) find out what issues are bothering him and vice versa. You can even pray about it and bring peace back into the atmosphere.

Where there is Love, there is also Peace

The Ugly Times

The Ugly times in a relationship will have you questioning your sanity. It’s worse than the bad times, it’s so much miscommunication that it will start to make you feel sick. Most times you can’t fully get your point across because either it comes out wrong, or it gets taken the wrong way. You began to think is this even worth fighting for, what are we doing, what am I doing?Constantly arguing, not being able to hear each other’s concerns, wants, or needs. On top of all of that, there is minimum to no sex, because of the lost of communication, there is no sex drive only frustration.

Not being able to see eye to eye has to be the worse.

It’s like no matter what you just can’t seem to get along. Every word, and every thought, and every feeling becomes a fight. The disrespect, dishonor is at an all-time low at this stage. Your only focus is to hurt each other with your words and actions something has to give!

Now, it is starting to affect your work, your off,  and everything feels like it’s falling apart. There is no win situation because your world is tumbling down. You began to feel as if you can’t breathe because there is no peace within your home. Something has to change but you don’t know what to change or how to change things. It’s a struggle sometimes, but if your relationship is going to work, you both have to reconnect and do the work apart (working on self), and together (working on the relationship as a whole).

Prayer does change things! This is not just a saying, this is real life situations.

Pray together, go to church together, turn your whole focus back to God, learn how to love each other the right way. God will lead you but you have to be willing to follow. Marriage/pre-marital counseling will always help in order to get the relationship heading in the right direction.

God Bless,

Taynia A. Coleman

Owner of Destined With A Purpose, Blogger, and Entrepreneur

Website: www.tayniacoleman.com

Email: tayniacoleman@gmail.com

Picture Credits: http://www.unsplash.com

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taniya

Karma: What Goes Around Will Come Back Around

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He can dish it out all the cheating, the lies, the disrespect but can he take the payback, does he ever think if it was ever worth it? These are the questions many men should ask themselves before stepping outside of their relationships and/or disrespecting the woman they say they love! Now, we all know that a man can cheat on his significant other with no problem, but he will still expect order in the household, he will still expect to be uplifted and valued as a King on the home front. Everything at home should still be the same although he has given her trust away, right?

Wrong, wrong, wrong!

A woman’s intuition is worth so much more than a man will ever understand

Let’s face it what goes around comes around it’s in the bible, it is a universal law. It’s called sowing and reaping according to Job 4:8 which states: Even as I have seen, they that plow iniquity, and sow wickedness, reap the same. It is always important to do unto other’s as you would want them to do unto you. If you can’t imagine your man/woman out cheating on you, giving someone else what’s yours then it’s simple do not go out and cheat on him/her and vice versa.

No matter how many times a woman forgives her man, if he continues to do the same thing without any change, eventually she is either going to A. leave him, or B. start cheating right along with him. Once this happens it will only keep getting worse. If a person is so unhappy then why stay in the relationship, sit down and have a long conversation and figure out if you two will continue to grow together or go your own separate ways. This is the best possible option and the most responsible one. It is an option that everyone will be able to respect at the end of the day.

A woman can only take so much…

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If a man would take the time to listen to a woman; she will tell him exactly what the issue is but you have to be willing to listen, and willing to adjust. A woman will without a doubt tell you when she has had enough and when she is done. Does her man ever take heed and listen? A lot of the time the answer is No, because he just think that it is a game; in his mind, he believes that she won’t ever leave him because she hasn’t done so yet. He continues to cheat on her leaving her lost, broken, and confused, and empty on so many levels.

It’s hard for the relationship to advance at this point. She will eventually shut down and once she has shut down there is no coming back. In her mind, she thinks that he had his chance to get it right, but didn’t take advantage of it so she leaves him mentally.

In her mind, it’s over but she hasn’t physically left the relationship yet. Once she has left the relationship in her mind there is a 99.9% chance that she has another man, or thinking about it heavy. She will eventually act on her thoughts and once she does that…it’s a wrap because now she has turned into THE liar, cheater, and deceiver. She will be in a place that she never thought was possible for her to be in.

Once the relationship has gone down this road there is no need to even continue.

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When he finds out about his woman infidelities he is going to leave her without a doubt (most men). A man can’t take the heartache, pain, rejection, and confusion that comes along with getting cheated on. His pride won’t let him. He won’t stick around as long as a woman would waiting for a change.

Ladies the best advice for when your relationship takes a turn for the worse and you have given your all is that you must take a stand. The cheating will only continue to happen if you allow it to. This is a lesson that took a long time for me to learn because I could never understand what I needed to do as a woman. The lesson was finally learned, and if you do not see progress, and keep finding yourself in the same spot time and time again you will need to take a bold step and be honest with yourself. Is this what you signed up for? Is this what you will continue to allow? Does this make you happy or feel less than a woman? Can you share your man with another woman? Does he really love you? Once you take the time and answer these questions truthfully you will have your answer. Honesty starts with yourself!

God Bless, Ms. Taynia

Owner of Destined With A Purpose, Blogger, and Entrepreneur

Website: www.tayniacoleman.com

Email: tayniacoleman@gmail.com

Picture Credits: http://www.unsplash.com

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taniya