I, (name), take you (name), to be my lawfully wedded (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.
Everybody is all for it when everything is smooth sailing. When the finances are just right, the bank account tight, the children are healthy, no one’s arguing and fighting, just contentment. When life falls into place for us we can’t help but be on a natural high because there is no stress, no failure, no pain, no suffering, no tears, everything and everybody is all walking on one accord. As much as we would love for it to stay this way life can happen at any moment. And what I mean by life, it means the roller coaster ride of the ups and downs of life, the tragedies, the attack on our marriages, the family, the silent drug problem, alcohol addiction, gambling, lying, cheating, deceit, your children are acting out, etc. It all can happen at any-time, it all can fall apart at any moment if we let it. Problems that we are dealing with internally, within ourselves can become even bigger if we don’t stop it in its tracks.
Change is inevitable we have to learn to embrace it head-on.
It’s important to stay prayerful and watchful while going through the good and the bad times.
You never know when you will need one of those prayers to pull on.
The bad times within a marriage can take a toll on the entire household. The children can feel the effects and the stress of the arguments, and more than likely they will begin to act out. The first step is to try your best not to argue in front of the children, whatever it is should be discussed privately. Which is the hardest thing to do sometimes when you have to get things off your chest, but trust; there will be less confusion within the household.
Children should not hear every disagreement between you two. Only bring a situation to them after you and your significant other have come to a conclusion concerning them. By doing this it will not make them feel as though they need to choose a side. Stability is the key to winning in this area if it is an area of concern. Children need stability and consistency.
It is a balancing act especially when children are involved.
It is important to keep an open dialog to stay on track.
When you think about marriage you think of all the pretty things, all the excitement, and happiness but that’s not all marriage is. Can you stand the test of time, when things are turned upside down? Are you only invested in your relationship when everything is good, and not present when it all goes down? This is something to really dig deep and think about for a second. Did your vows mean anything to you at all or did you just say them because it is what’s normal?
In this instance, you should have realized, that it is very imperative to mean what you say and to say what you mean.
Get your vows out and think about what each and every statement mean to you. Try to figure out if you are in this for the long run, or just for the “good time” that don’t last always. Think about if you have your significant other back if they fail to be who you thought they were, or if they are struggling with something eternally. Are you the person that they can trust, the person that will never leave their side. For better or for worse, do you really mean it, it is definitely something to think about.
As always prayer and communication is the key to stand the test of time within any type of relationship. May God Bless Your Union.
Taynia A. Coleman
Owner of Destined With A Purpose, Blogger, and Entrepreneur
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When in a relationship, is it good to get space from your significant other? I mean like lets pause and take a break for a while type of space. What is space within a relationship maybe that’s the question that should be asked. If you ask me the answer will always be NO! Ok, maybe […]
He can dish it out all the cheating, the lies, the disrespect but can he take the payback, does he ever think if it was ever worth it? These are the questions many men should ask themselves before stepping outside of their relationships and/or disrespecting the woman they say they love! Now, we all know that a man can cheat on his significant other with no problem, but he will still expect order in the household, he will still expect to be uplifted and valued as a King on the home front. Everything at home should still be the same although he has given her trust away, right?
Wrong, wrong, wrong!
A woman’s intuition is worth so much more than a man will ever understand
Let’s face it what goes around comes around it’s in the bible, it is a universal law. It’s called sowing and reaping according to Job 4:8 which states: Even as I have seen, they that plow iniquity, and sow wickedness, reap the same. It is always important to do unto other’s as you would want them to do unto you. If you can’t imagine your man/woman out cheating on you, giving someone else what’s yours then it’s simple do not go out and cheat on him/her and vice versa.
No matter how many times a woman forgives her man, if he continues to do the same thing without any change, eventually she is either going to A. leave him, or B. start cheating right along with him. Once this happens it will only keep getting worse. If a person is so unhappy then why stay in the relationship, sit down and have a long conversation and figure out if you two will continue to grow together or go your own separate ways. This is the best possible option and the most responsible one. It is an option that everyone will be able to respect at the end of the day.
A woman can only take so much…
If a man would take the time to listen to a woman; she will tell him exactly what the issue is but you have to be willing to listen, and willing to adjust. A woman will without a doubt tell you when she has had enough and when she is done. Does her man ever take heed and listen? A lot of the time the answer is No, because he just think that it is a game; in his mind, he believes that she won’t ever leave him because she hasn’t done so yet. He continues to cheat on her leaving her lost, broken, and confused, and empty on so many levels.
It’s hard for the relationship to advance at this point. She will eventually shut down and once she has shut down there is no coming back. In her mind, she thinks that he had his chance to get it right, but didn’t take advantage of it so she leaves him mentally.
In her mind, it’s over but she hasn’t physically left the relationship yet. Once she has left the relationship in her mind there is a 99.9% chance that she has another man, or thinking about it heavy. She will eventually act on her thoughts and once she does that…it’s a wrap because now she has turned into THE liar, cheater, and deceiver. She will be in a place that she never thought was possible for her to be in.
Once the relationship has gone down this road there is no need to even continue.
When he finds out about his woman infidelities he is going to leave her without a doubt (most men). A man can’t take the heartache, pain, rejection, and confusion that comes along with getting cheated on. His pride won’t let him. He won’t stick around as long as a woman would waiting for a change.
Ladies the best advice for when your relationship takes a turn for the worse and you have given your all is that you must take a stand. The cheating will only continue to happen if you allow it to. This is a lesson that took a long time for me to learn because I could never understand what I needed to do as a woman. The lesson was finally learned, and if you do not see progress, and keep finding yourself in the same spot time and time again you will need to take a bold step and be honest with yourself. Is this what you signed up for? Is this what you will continue to allow? Does this make you happy or feel less than a woman? Can you share your man with another woman? Does he really love you? Once you take the time and answer these questions truthfully you will have your answer. Honesty starts with yourself!
God Bless, Ms. Taynia
Owner of Destined With A Purpose, Blogger, and Entrepreneur
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In this life, have you ever felt the need to just be happy? The feeling just to be satisfied, just to be complete. This feeling that I have is indescribable, it’s like there’s so much to see and do in this world, but the problem is how do I go about manifesting everything I need in life?
Where much is given, much is required -Luke 12:48
Those words have so much meaning to them. The more work you have, the more responsibility. The more money you have, the more responsibility. You have to know how much is too much! Don’t ask for something that you can’t handle. Take on as much as you can, but never more than you can handle. Some people just want all the luxury, but they do not want to work hard for it, we must know that hard work must always come into play…nothing is just given to you.
Keeping this in mind it is imperative that we have our mind in the right headspace. If you want more out of life stop doubting yourself.
Whatever you put your mind to don’t delay it, just do it! Set goals, and write them down. Say your daily affirmations and declarations, make a dream board and start working towards your dreams, pray and fast, seek God, daily. Seeing, saying, and doing these things everyday will began to transform your mindset, and you will start to see things coming into alignment. You have to create your future within your thoughts.
A man is but the product of his thoughts what he thinks, he becomes. -Mahatma Gandhi
Things do not come to you by just wishing upon a star. God will send people your way or He will even give you signs to help you go in the right direction, but you have to know the signs, you have to pay attention. You can’t sit and wish you were employed: you actually have to get up and apply to several positions before being employed. If you don’t do your part, how can we expect God to do his part?
Faith without works is dead James 2:14
Ms. Taynia A. Coleman