Parenthood Trap!?!

It’s a fresh start of a brand new school year, oh how exciting it is. The children are back to school and not eating you out of a house and home; literally. Just think you may even be able to gain a piece of mind, but it all depends on your work schedule, right?

If you are a stay at home mom or work afternoons then you have the pleasure of having the morning’s all to yourself. If you work morning’s, however, you get NO break! (lol) It is true because while you are away at work, the children are away at school and when you get home, it is pretty much when everyone else get home. There is no personal “me” time unless you create it.

Where there is a will, there is a way!

Being that I was stuck on afternoons for over a year it made me realize not to ever take for granted the time that I have to spend with my family. Even when they are working my last nerve. When I am at home they are in my presence, if not directly in my presence they are not hard to get a hold to. I give them their space and most times I need a nap!

After thinking that I needed this major break in my life I found out that it wasn’t true. I have learned to be very careful about what I ask for. It is accurate that I needed time to clear my mind and let’s face it we all deal with stressful situations day to day. However, running away was never the answer.

Be careful of what you ask for because you might just get it

I mean I was exhausted, tired, overworked, and underpaid on top of all that a mother with damn near no help. What was I to think, say, or do? I just felt completely overwhelmed, incapable of loving my children properly because I felt like I could never sit down to catch a break. I just needed a small window to breathe and instead of taking charge of my life and this new situation I just wanted to run away. The truth of the matter is my fianće had my back, but was it fair for him to take on another person’s responsibility when they are able?

I thought I wanted to put a space in between myself and the children, I felt suffocated.

I found a job working 12-9p I thought this would give me the right amount of time in order to come home and deal with it all. A fresh start, right boy was I wrong! I hated it!! Not being able to pick my girls up from school, depending on other people to help carry my load, to say the least, it was a total nightmare. To make matters worse, when I tried to work the morning shift, I was told that there were no openings available.

Jesus, please fix it!!!

I don’t know what I want anymore is what I thought to myself. I felt lost because things were not looking up for me or at least I felt that way. Drowning in my own sorrow, I wonder if anybody could hear my silent cries.

God must have heard me because I wouldn’t trade another day shift to night shift if I can help it. It makes me cringe at the thought of me being away from home, from my family while life is happening.

As parents and especially as mothers life can become very draining if we let it. There are some ways we can encourage ourselves as time progresses. Peace is needed within your home and within your mind.

Steps to finding inner peace

1. Pray

2. Read

3. Draw

4. Take an hour out of your day and go for a walk

5. Meditate

6. Write

7. Be Happy

8. Breathe

Make at least one of these options your daily or weekly goal. It will help you get a clear mind and a better understanding of your surroundings. Life won’t seem so hard once you learn how to take time out for yourself. Do it for the ones that you love, and the ones that love you the most despite it all.

Order An Unnecessary Breakdown Within Your Relationship

Owner of Destined With A Purpose, Author, Blogger, and Entrepreneur

Email: tayniacoleman@gmail.com

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My Pain became My Purpose

January 15, 2013, a lot had changed for me. I DIVORCED a lot of difficult situations in my life. I left behind emotional pain, emotional turmoil, uncertainty, unbalance, depression, sadness, drama, mental and physical abuse, pain, rejection, sickness, and most of all I let go of a toxic marriage. Now, at the time I was going through all of this, I couldn’t see any of that, but today looking back over my life I see it all. I thank God for giving me the strength to find myself again, to find happiness again, to find joy again, and most importantly to find love again.

I was hurting, I was devasted because I couldn’t believe love didn’t love me.

Trapped in my mind, but most of all trapped in my heart along with my emotions. What was I to do in this situation, I couldn’t believe how things took a total turn for the worse. But, this was life, this was my life. This was my story I became torn between doing the right thing or still living a married life as a wife to a man that was already too far gone. I decided to do my own thang and eventually that wasn’t good enough anymore because I still felt an empty void. I searched for myself high and low, but I was nowhere to be found. I became cold and dangerous, I could care less about what was going on around me. There was no peace to be found, I began to drown my sorrows with liquor and wine. It was just me myself and I trying to figure out my next move, my escape, THE plan of action but I came up with nothing. Maybe because I did not want to be looked at as a failure is why I put up with so much. I can’t really tell you why I spent 9 yrs in a marriage that was really over after 3 yrs, but what I can tell you is that I learned a lot about myself and others. A lot about life, relationships and the lack thereof, I learned to depend on God more and to trust Him completely in the darkest time of my life.

I learned to let go of things that no longer serve a purpose for me in my life.

It’s no point of holding on to something that hurt you and brings harm to your body. Just let it go and if it’s meant to be, whatever it is, it will find it’s way back to you.

No drama, no setbacks, no more confusion just peace within my mind. No more staying up late nights concerning myself about someone else. I had to give it all to God, and the moment I fully put my trust in Him I became much clear with my purpose, my vision, and my passion here on earth.

How can you help somebody if you have never experienced anything?

My purpose is to serve others that’s been broken and left to pick up all the pieces. My purpose is to show you how to heal your heart and to love yourself again. My purpose is to show you how important forgiveness is in your life. My purpose is to show you how to turn your pain into your purpose. We were all out on this earth for a reason and I don’t believe it was just to suffer. Whatever you’re going through be sure to learn from it and grow from it.

In my upcoming book An Unnecessary Breakdown Within Your Relationship it will give you the keys to being in a happy space, keys to having a healthy life and keys to having a happy relationship. It will teach you how to forgive and be forgiven. After each chapter, I have included very powerful prayers to pray for yourself and your spouse. If you are going through a rough patch then this book will be for you.

Preorders will be available soon. As always GOD Bless!

Owner of Destined With A Purpose, Author, Blogger, Publisher, and Entrepreneur

Email: tayniacoleman@gmail.com

Follow Ms. Taynia on INSTAGRAM

The Mommy Life 

Sitting in this space contemplating my next step. As everyone says my next move has got to be my best move, I have people that depend on me. 

You see it’s not about me anymore, it’s about my family wants, needs, and desires. What will move us to the next level? I’ve got to focus and that is my focus to make sure that I don’t fail, or at least never give up trying. There is no half stepping when it comes to getting the job done. 

In Young Jeezy voice: I put on for my FAMILY

I’ve got to show my girls what it’s like to live out your dreams, what it’s like to set goals and accomplish them, what it’s like to put others before yourself. No matter how many lose’s we have faced I have and will never give up on us. See I am a mother, a soon to be Wife, I am a goal getter, a dream chaser. I have to show them (my children) the light of life.

When life hits them I will always be there to pick up the pieces because that’s what mom’s do. Your children have to know that if nobody has their back that their mommy does. Promises are not meant to be broken so, it literally irritates me when a person makes promise after promise and never keep them. 

Mom’s make it all happen no matter what the cost

Life can throw you for a loop sometimes but it’s up to you to decide how to handle the outcome. Every situation may not come out as planned, but that’s okay, learn to adjust and stay focused.

Living a “mommy life” is all about sacrifices for your children because at the end of the day they depend on you the most. There is no half stepping when it comes to them. They are always top priority.

If a situation arises that you feel that you can’t handle, talk it out. Get all the details, gather your thoughts, sleep on it, and pray on it. The answer will come to you, ask for guidance throughout every situation.

God will see you through…remember God won’t put more on you than you can bare.

God Bless

Taynia A. Coleman

Daughter of A Daughter 

A daughter of a daughter, a child of a child, my mother had me at the tender age of 15 years old. Coincidentally; her mother, my grandmother (the youngest of her siblings) had her first born at the age of 15 years old as well (talk about family history repeating itself). Being that my mother […]

Is it Time to Forgive? — Get INSPIRED

 

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What’s a relationship without trust?

This can be within any type of relationship, from your childhood teacher, to your pastor, to your mother, to your significant other, to your dog. If there isn’t a level of trust, love, respect, and understanding then what’s the point of wasting any time at all, right? For so long men and women stay stuck in an empty relationship because the trust is far gone and they don’t know how to get it back.

Let me tell you, it takes a ton of work to trust again, but it all starts with forgiveness. In order to forgive anyone, you have to first start with forgiving yourself, and then forgiving the one who hurt you.

Un-forgiveness brings about a burden in our lives and it weighs heavy on our hearts. As women we often times are hurt more than men because we wear our hearts on our sleeves. Once we decide to give away our hearts we expect to be treated with love.

The pain, the hurt, the rejection, the broken trust can linger on the inside for a long time if we aren’t careful. Within any relationship, we have our ups and downs, the good times as well as the bad, and let’s face it a lot of the time we do things to hurt the ones we truly love. Quite often we need forgiveness ourselves and that is why it is very important to keep our feelings and our better half feelings at the top of our thoughts. They don’t want to be hurt just like you don’t want to be hurt.

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A lot of the time we hold on to un-forgiveness without ever knowing. Un-forgiveness can flare up if we think about the person, and/or if we see the person. If we get angry or upset then un-forgiveness is still lingering. If seeing them or thinking about them puts you in a bad head space, then let’s face it, you are still letting them control your space, time, and energy.

You really haven’t forgiven anyone not even yourself for dealing with that particular relationship or situation. It’s simply called out of sight out of mind. Meaning if you don’t see the person you will not think about them and because you no longer see them you sense a form of letting go, but in actuality, you just put it to the back of your mind. This causes a reaction every time you see them, think of them, or think of the situation, it takes away from your energy. It’s not healthy and it causes sickness to form up in your body. The Bible says in Mark 11:25-26 that simply we can’t be forgiven unless we forgive others. This is a great principle to live by and to honor.

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Let’s stop with the pity party and forgive, first work on forgiving yourself. You may not forget but forgive and move on. Most times it will take a lot of prayer, tears, and understanding but it will be worth it because you cannot stay mad at yourself forever. Then work on forgiving that person and/or situation because you don’t want your un-forgiveness to turn into bitter and hate. Lastly, after you’ve forgiven pray and ask God to forgive you!!!

God Bless,

Taynia A. Coleman

Picture Credit: Pixabay

Follow Taynia A. Coleman on INSTAGRAM

 Owner of Destined With A Purpose, Blogger, and Entrepreneur
taniya

via Is it Time to Forgive? — Get INSPIRED