Tips on Self Love & Self Care

As women or as people, in general, we are constantly going, going, and going. Most of the time it is never for self, but for loved ones, our spouses, children, parents, siblings, friends, the job and we are never taking the time out for self. In life, we were taught to pretty much keep going and never to take a moment to stop and take time to evaluate self and properly heal ourselves. In life, there are times where one must slow down to pace ourselves so that we can maneuver through life the correct way. Let’s be real sometimes your brain need a break or a new focus, and how can you get refocused without being still? Your body need rest as well.

Sometimes we have to steal time to regain composure for ourselves

Being still in order to get clarity or to get direction and guidance from the Holy Spirit or as some may say your inner/higher self, the first step is to stop and listen. That is the mission. To do that you must take time for self even if you sit for five minutes to calm yourself and/or pray. This practice will bring you peace, relaxation, and inner healing. As time goes on you may want to increase the time to 15, 30, 45 minutes up to an hour is the goal (something I am still working on myself). Pray, meditate, be still, or just sit write and listen.

Make a decision to take personal time out of your day, your week, your month to love on yourself. This can include going for a walk, sitting by the water, going to get some ice cream, getting your nails and /or hair done, a massage, going to get a checkup, taking yourself on a date etc.

Sometimes we need to take our minds off of the heavy reality of this thing called life. Especially if we want to find peace and be at peace in our lives.

7 tips on self-love & self-care (in no particular order)

  1. Be Still (talk to God and wait for an answer)
  2. Accept what is & what isn’t (you can’t control everything)
  3. Never compare or compete with others (you never know what they had to do to get there)
  4. Stop overthinking EVERYTHING!!!
  5. Take walks to clear your mind
  6. Sit by the water/fire and relax by reading a book or writing
  7. Always practice gratitude be thankful

Last but not least if you have lost yourself in the process of life you must learn yourself again. Find out what your likes and dislikes are, what you like to do and what you don’t like to do. Find the real you on this self-love journey. And remember it is not selfish to love on you because if you don’t love yourself how can you ever believe that someone else will truly love you.

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Reflection of 2018

Looking back to say thank you, Father! 2018 has been a life-changing year for me. I have accomplished some amazing things that a couple of years ago I didn’t have the faith to step into. Things that I could not have even dreamed of has taken place in my life this year, and for that, I am forever grateful.

I have learned that when challenges come into play to take my mind off of the negative and focus more on the positive outcome. Staying optimistic gives me that option to push forward because I know once I get past the negative or “the hard stuff”, the good is right in the brink of things. In the darker days, there will always be light at the end of every tunnel, but it is up to you to get to the end of that tunnel.

Setting goals and setting deadlines are the models for 2019. Being my own boss…

I have been self-evaluating, listening to motivational speakers, getting coaching, and doing the work in order to change my life. It has put me in a greater place spiritually and mentally, it has lifted my focus and made me find my definite purpose in life. I no longer will stay stuck in life because I refuse to live that way. I am on a new path, a new journey that will no longer allow “getting stuck” to be an option for me. I am just so excited about what life has to offer.

If you want something different in life, you cannot be afraid to be open to trying something new.

By doing the work and staying positive with life is the only way that I was able to deal with death this year. I have never had someone pass away in my life who was so close to me…to never return to me. I lost my one and only aunty October 12, 2018, and it was very devastating for me and my family. At times I found myself brokenhearted, sad, mad and confused because I knew it wasn’t her time to go. She wanted to do so much more, but I had to realize that she suffered every day with pain in her body. So just maybe it was her time to go be set free from pain at least this is what I will forever have to believe. To my loving aunty rest peacefully and I love you!

Doing the mental and spiritual work is not a one-time thing. This is an everyday thing, this is a life journey to keep sane, to keep going, and to stay happy. In all things keep God first and He will direct your path!

2019 is the year of Manifestation so all the things you have been working toward will start coming to past. You must first set the goals, and write the visions, you must do the work in order to create the change you are looking for.

Order Your Book An Unnecessary Breakdown Within Your Relationship

Owner of Destined With A Purpose, Author, Blogger, Realtor, and Entrepreneur

Email: tayniacoleman@gmail.com

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My Pain became My Purpose

January 15, 2013, a lot had changed for me. I DIVORCED a lot of difficult situations in my life. I left behind emotional pain, emotional turmoil, uncertainty, unbalance, depression, sadness, drama, mental and physical abuse, pain, rejection, sickness, and most of all I let go of a toxic marriage. Now, at the time I was going through all of this, I couldn’t see any of that, but today looking back over my life I see it all. I thank God for giving me the strength to find myself again, to find happiness again, to find joy again, and most importantly to find love again.

I was hurting, I was devasted because I couldn’t believe love didn’t love me.

Trapped in my mind, but most of all trapped in my heart along with my emotions. What was I to do in this situation, I couldn’t believe how things took a total turn for the worse. But, this was life, this was my life. This was my story I became torn between doing the right thing or still living a married life as a wife to a man that was already too far gone. I decided to do my own thang and eventually that wasn’t good enough anymore because I still felt an empty void. I searched for myself high and low, but I was nowhere to be found. I became cold and dangerous, I could care less about what was going on around me. There was no peace to be found, I began to drown my sorrows with liquor and wine. It was just me myself and I trying to figure out my next move, my escape, THE plan of action but I came up with nothing. Maybe because I did not want to be looked at as a failure is why I put up with so much. I can’t really tell you why I spent 9 yrs in a marriage that was really over after 3 yrs, but what I can tell you is that I learned a lot about myself and others. A lot about life, relationships and the lack thereof, I learned to depend on God more and to trust Him completely in the darkest time of my life.

I learned to let go of things that no longer serve a purpose for me in my life.

It’s no point of holding on to something that hurt you and brings harm to your body. Just let it go and if it’s meant to be, whatever it is, it will find it’s way back to you.

No drama, no setbacks, no more confusion just peace within my mind. No more staying up late nights concerning myself about someone else. I had to give it all to God, and the moment I fully put my trust in Him I became much clear with my purpose, my vision, and my passion here on earth.

How can you help somebody if you have never experienced anything?

My purpose is to serve others that’s been broken and left to pick up all the pieces. My purpose is to show you how to heal your heart and to love yourself again. My purpose is to show you how important forgiveness is in your life. My purpose is to show you how to turn your pain into your purpose. We were all out on this earth for a reason and I don’t believe it was just to suffer. Whatever you’re going through be sure to learn from it and grow from it.

In my upcoming book An Unnecessary Breakdown Within Your Relationship it will give you the keys to being in a happy space, keys to having a healthy life and keys to having a happy relationship. It will teach you how to forgive and be forgiven. After each chapter, I have included very powerful prayers to pray for yourself and your spouse. If you are going through a rough patch then this book will be for you.

Preorders will be available soon. As always GOD Bless!

Owner of Destined With A Purpose, Author, Blogger, Publisher, and Entrepreneur

Email: tayniacoleman@gmail.com

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Making a list and checking it twice! Your Next Relationship will be Your Best Relationship

Write the vision and make it plain

What do you really want out of life and/or a relationship; think about that for a moment. That has been ringing in my head for days now and let me tell you why. I remember just going through a divorce and a year and a half later I decided that I was ready for a “real” relationship. Knowing exactly what I didn’t want in a relationship I created a list of everything that I did want and desire within a relationship. I put down all my dislikes on one side and all my likes on the other side.

It took me some time to compile the list because it became very complex once I started thinking about my worth and values, the things you want, need, and desire is very important. Knowing everything I wanted and deserved I believed I could obtain it. This was my only strategy for gaining a better relationship. It is imperative that you understand that I also had to work on myself through this process, to make sure that I was really ready for a relationship.

Sometimes it is easier to point out what you want and don’t want in a man, but what about your flaws, why would a man want to deal with any of your baggage/drama. No one wants to deal with drama so maybe it’s time for you to do a soul search and take inventory of yourself.

You have to do the work, it is imperative that you do.

Never start off a new relationship without breaking soul ties from your previous relationship/s. Do not bring anything or anyone else from your past into this new relationship because eventually there will be a breakdown. If you are still stuck in a past relationship, or a past hurt then maybe right now is not the time for a new relationship. Get yourself together and make sure you are ready for a new future with a new person.

DO THE WORK

After you’ve taken time out and did a little soul searching, then you will be able to compile two lists. One of the things you want and don’t want inside of a relationship, and the other of good and bad traits you do or don’t want in a man.

Start by listing the characteristics that you are looking for within a man on one side. Then list the characteristics that you can live without on the other side. For instance; if you love a man with a sense of humor write that down. Write down all of your likes and wants on the left side, and on the left side write down all of the dislikes. If you’re always happy and optimistic, then you do not want a pessimistic person in your personal life especially a significant other. In this case, opposites does not attract because a pessimistic person will find the bad in every situation which will become very draining, frustrating, and exhausting to a positive person.

After you are done making the list hang it up on your mirror (inside your room), or on your bedroom wall just so that you can see it and read it often. This will allow you to speak what you want into existence several times a day.

Knowing what you want, knowing the person that you need to become, and working toward that dream should be your main focus in life. Nothing else even matters at this point. Just focus on living your best life and do the work in order to manifest it.

God Bless!

Taynia A. Coleman

Owner of Destined With A Purpose, Blogger, and Entrepreneur

Email: tayniacoleman@gmail.com

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Is it Time to Forgive? — Get INSPIRED

 

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What’s a relationship without trust?

This can be within any type of relationship, from your childhood teacher, to your pastor, to your mother, to your significant other, to your dog. If there isn’t a level of trust, love, respect, and understanding then what’s the point of wasting any time at all, right? For so long men and women stay stuck in an empty relationship because the trust is far gone and they don’t know how to get it back.

Let me tell you, it takes a ton of work to trust again, but it all starts with forgiveness. In order to forgive anyone, you have to first start with forgiving yourself, and then forgiving the one who hurt you.

Un-forgiveness brings about a burden in our lives and it weighs heavy on our hearts. As women we often times are hurt more than men because we wear our hearts on our sleeves. Once we decide to give away our hearts we expect to be treated with love.

The pain, the hurt, the rejection, the broken trust can linger on the inside for a long time if we aren’t careful. Within any relationship, we have our ups and downs, the good times as well as the bad, and let’s face it a lot of the time we do things to hurt the ones we truly love. Quite often we need forgiveness ourselves and that is why it is very important to keep our feelings and our better half feelings at the top of our thoughts. They don’t want to be hurt just like you don’t want to be hurt.

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A lot of the time we hold on to un-forgiveness without ever knowing. Un-forgiveness can flare up if we think about the person, and/or if we see the person. If we get angry or upset then un-forgiveness is still lingering. If seeing them or thinking about them puts you in a bad head space, then let’s face it, you are still letting them control your space, time, and energy.

You really haven’t forgiven anyone not even yourself for dealing with that particular relationship or situation. It’s simply called out of sight out of mind. Meaning if you don’t see the person you will not think about them and because you no longer see them you sense a form of letting go, but in actuality, you just put it to the back of your mind. This causes a reaction every time you see them, think of them, or think of the situation, it takes away from your energy. It’s not healthy and it causes sickness to form up in your body. The Bible says in Mark 11:25-26 that simply we can’t be forgiven unless we forgive others. This is a great principle to live by and to honor.

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Let’s stop with the pity party and forgive, first work on forgiving yourself. You may not forget but forgive and move on. Most times it will take a lot of prayer, tears, and understanding but it will be worth it because you cannot stay mad at yourself forever. Then work on forgiving that person and/or situation because you don’t want your un-forgiveness to turn into bitter and hate. Lastly, after you’ve forgiven pray and ask God to forgive you!!!

God Bless,

Taynia A. Coleman

Picture Credit: Pixabay

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 Owner of Destined With A Purpose, Blogger, and Entrepreneur
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via Is it Time to Forgive? — Get INSPIRED