My Pain became My Purpose

January 15, 2013, a lot had changed for me. I DIVORCED a lot of difficult situations in my life. I left behind emotional pain, emotional turmoil, uncertainty, unbalance, depression, sadness, drama, mental and physical abuse, pain, rejection, sickness, and most of all I let go of a toxic marriage. Now, at the time I was going through all of this, I couldn’t see any of that, but today looking back over my life I see it all. I thank God for giving me the strength to find myself again, to find happiness again, to find joy again, and most importantly to find love again.

I was hurting, I was devasted because I couldn’t believe love didn’t love me.

Trapped in my mind, but most of all trapped in my heart along with my emotions. What was I to do in this situation, I couldn’t believe how things took a total turn for the worse. But, this was life, this was my life. This was my story I became torn between doing the right thing or still living a married life as a wife to a man that was already too far gone. I decided to do my own thang and eventually that wasn’t good enough anymore because I still felt an empty void. I searched for myself high and low, but I was nowhere to be found. I became cold and dangerous, I could care less about what was going on around me. There was no peace to be found, I began to drown my sorrows with liquor and wine. It was just me myself and I trying to figure out my next move, my escape, THE plan of action but I came up with nothing. Maybe because I did not want to be looked at as a failure is why I put up with so much. I can’t really tell you why I spent 9 yrs in a marriage that was really over after 3 yrs, but what I can tell you is that I learned a lot about myself and others. A lot about life, relationships and the lack thereof, I learned to depend on God more and to trust Him completely in the darkest time of my life.

I learned to let go of things that no longer serve a purpose for me in my life.

It’s no point of holding on to something that hurt you and brings harm to your body. Just let it go and if it’s meant to be, whatever it is, it will find it’s way back to you.

No drama, no setbacks, no more confusion just peace within my mind. No more staying up late nights concerning myself about someone else. I had to give it all to God, and the moment I fully put my trust in Him I became much clear with my purpose, my vision, and my passion here on earth.

How can you help somebody if you have never experienced anything?

My purpose is to serve others that’s been broken and left to pick up all the pieces. My purpose is to show you how to heal your heart and to love yourself again. My purpose is to show you how important forgiveness is in your life. My purpose is to show you how to turn your pain into your purpose. We were all out on this earth for a reason and I don’t believe it was just to suffer. Whatever you’re going through be sure to learn from it and grow from it.

In my upcoming book An Unnecessary Breakdown Within Your Relationship it will give you the keys to being in a happy space, keys to having a healthy life and keys to having a happy relationship. It will teach you how to forgive and be forgiven. After each chapter, I have included very powerful prayers to pray for yourself and your spouse. If you are going through a rough patch then this book will be for you.

Preorders will be available soon. As always GOD Bless!

Owner of Destined With A Purpose, Author, Blogger, Publisher, and Entrepreneur

Email: tayniacoleman@gmail.com

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Making a list and checking it twice! Your Next Relationship will be Your Best Relationship

Write the vision and make it plain

What do you really want out of life and/or a relationship; think about that for a moment. That has been ringing in my head for days now and let me tell you why. I remember just going through a divorce and a year and a half later I decided that I was ready for a “real” relationship. Knowing exactly what I didn’t want in a relationship I created a list of everything that I did want and desire within a relationship. I put down all my dislikes on one side and all my likes on the other side.

It took me some time to compile the list because it became very complex once I started thinking about my worth and values, the things you want, need, and desire is very important. Knowing everything I wanted and deserved I believed I could obtain it. This was my only strategy for gaining a better relationship. It is imperative that you understand that I also had to work on myself through this process, to make sure that I was really ready for a relationship.

Sometimes it is easier to point out what you want and don’t want in a man, but what about your flaws, why would a man want to deal with any of your baggage/drama. No one wants to deal with drama so maybe it’s time for you to do a soul search and take inventory of yourself.

You have to do the work, it is imperative that you do.

Never start off a new relationship without breaking soul ties from your previous relationship/s. Do not bring anything or anyone else from your past into this new relationship because eventually there will be a breakdown. If you are still stuck in a past relationship, or a past hurt then maybe right now is not the time for a new relationship. Get yourself together and make sure you are ready for a new future with a new person.

DO THE WORK

After you’ve taken time out and did a little soul searching, then you will be able to compile two lists. One of the things you want and don’t want inside of a relationship, and the other of good and bad traits you do or don’t want in a man.

Start by listing the characteristics that you are looking for within a man on one side. Then list the characteristics that you can live without on the other side. For instance; if you love a man with a sense of humor write that down. Write down all of your likes and wants on the left side, and on the left side write down all of the dislikes. If you’re always happy and optimistic, then you do not want a pessimistic person in your personal life especially a significant other. In this case, opposites does not attract because a pessimistic person will find the bad in every situation which will become very draining, frustrating, and exhausting to a positive person.

After you are done making the list hang it up on your mirror (inside your room), or on your bedroom wall just so that you can see it and read it often. This will allow you to speak what you want into existence several times a day.

Knowing what you want, knowing the person that you need to become, and working toward that dream should be your main focus in life. Nothing else even matters at this point. Just focus on living your best life and do the work in order to manifest it.

God Bless!

Taynia A. Coleman

Owner of Destined With A Purpose, Blogger, and Entrepreneur

Email: tayniacoleman@gmail.com

Follow Ms. Taynia on INSTAGRAM

Marriage: For Better or For Worse

I, (name), take you (name), to be my lawfully wedded (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.

Everybody is all for it when everything is smooth sailing. When the finances are just right, the bank account tight, the children are healthy, no one’s arguing and fighting, just contentment. When life falls into place for us we can’t help but be on a natural high because there is no stress, no failure, no pain, no suffering, no tears, everything and everybody is all walking on one accord. As much as we would love for it to stay this way life can happen at any moment. And what I mean by life, it means the roller coaster ride of the ups and downs of life, the tragedies, the attack on our marriages, the family, the silent drug problem, alcohol addiction, gambling, lying, cheating, deceit, your children are acting out, etc. It all can happen at any-time, it all can fall apart at any moment if we let it. Problems that we are dealing with internally, within ourselves can become even bigger if we don’t stop it in its tracks.

Change is inevitable we have to learn to embrace it head-on.

It’s important to stay prayerful and watchful while going through the good and the bad times.

You never know when you will need one of those prayers to pull on.

The bad times within a marriage can take a toll on the entire household.  The children can feel the effects and the stress of the arguments, and more than likely they will begin to act out. The first step is to try your best not to argue in front of the children, whatever it is should be discussed privately. Which is the hardest thing to do sometimes when you have to get things off your chest, but trust; there will be less confusion within the household.

Children should not hear every disagreement between you two. Only bring a situation to them after you and your significant other have come to a conclusion concerning them. By doing this it will not make them feel as though they need to choose a side. Stability is the key to winning in this area if it is an area of concern. Children need stability and consistency.

It is a balancing act especially when children are involved.

It is important to keep an open dialog to stay on track.

When you think about marriage you think of all the pretty things, all the excitement, and happiness but that’s not all marriage is. Can you stand the test of time, when things are turned upside down? Are you only invested in your relationship when everything is good, and not present when it all goes down? This is something to really dig deep and think about for a second. Did your vows mean anything to you at all or did you just say them because it is what’s normal?

In this instance, you should have realized, that it is very imperative to mean what you say and to say what you mean.

Get your vows out and think about what each and every statement mean to you. Try to figure out if you are in this for the long run, or just for the “good time” that don’t last always. Think about if you have your significant other back if they fail to be who you thought they were, or if they are struggling with something eternally. Are you the person that they can trust, the person that will never leave their side. For better or for worse, do you really mean it, it is definitely something to think about.

As always prayer and communication is the key to stand the test of time within any type of relationship. May God Bless Your Union.

God Bless,

Taynia A. Coleman

Owner of Destined With A Purpose, Blogger, and Entrepreneur

Website: www.tayniacoleman.com

Email: tayniacoleman@gmail.com

Follow Ms. Taynia on INSTAGRAM

taniya

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