Tips on Self Love & Self Care

As women or as people, in general, we are constantly going, going, and going. Most of the time it is never for self, but for loved ones, our spouses, children, parents, siblings, friends, the job and we are never taking the time out for self. In life, we were taught to pretty much keep going and never to take a moment to stop and take time to evaluate self and properly heal ourselves. In life, there are times where one must slow down to pace ourselves so that we can maneuver through life the correct way. Let’s be real sometimes your brain need a break or a new focus, and how can you get refocused without being still? Your body need rest as well.

Sometimes we have to steal time to regain composure for ourselves

Being still in order to get clarity or to get direction and guidance from the Holy Spirit or as some may say your inner/higher self, the first step is to stop and listen. That is the mission. To do that you must take time for self even if you sit for five minutes to calm yourself and/or pray. This practice will bring you peace, relaxation, and inner healing. As time goes on you may want to increase the time to 15, 30, 45 minutes up to an hour is the goal (something I am still working on myself). Pray, meditate, be still, or just sit write and listen.

Make a decision to take personal time out of your day, your week, your month to love on yourself. This can include going for a walk, sitting by the water, going to get some ice cream, getting your nails and /or hair done, a massage, going to get a checkup, taking yourself on a date etc.

Sometimes we need to take our minds off of the heavy reality of this thing called life. Especially if we want to find peace and be at peace in our lives.

7 tips on self-love & self-care (in no particular order)

  1. Be Still (talk to God and wait for an answer)
  2. Accept what is & what isn’t (you can’t control everything)
  3. Never compare or compete with others (you never know what they had to do to get there)
  4. Stop overthinking EVERYTHING!!!
  5. Take walks to clear your mind
  6. Sit by the water/fire and relax by reading a book or writing
  7. Always practice gratitude be thankful

Last but not least if you have lost yourself in the process of life you must learn yourself again. Find out what your likes and dislikes are, what you like to do and what you don’t like to do. Find the real you on this self-love journey. And remember it is not selfish to love on you because if you don’t love yourself how can you ever believe that someone else will truly love you.

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Reflection of 2018

Looking back to say thank you, Father! 2018 has been a life-changing year for me. I have accomplished some amazing things that a couple of years ago I didn’t have the faith to step into. Things that I could not have even dreamed of has taken place in my life this year, and for that, I am forever grateful.

I have learned that when challenges come into play to take my mind off of the negative and focus more on the positive outcome. Staying optimistic gives me that option to push forward because I know once I get past the negative or “the hard stuff”, the good is right in the brink of things. In the darker days, there will always be light at the end of every tunnel, but it is up to you to get to the end of that tunnel.

Setting goals and setting deadlines are the models for 2019. Being my own boss…

I have been self-evaluating, listening to motivational speakers, getting coaching, and doing the work in order to change my life. It has put me in a greater place spiritually and mentally, it has lifted my focus and made me find my definite purpose in life. I no longer will stay stuck in life because I refuse to live that way. I am on a new path, a new journey that will no longer allow “getting stuck” to be an option for me. I am just so excited about what life has to offer.

If you want something different in life, you cannot be afraid to be open to trying something new.

By doing the work and staying positive with life is the only way that I was able to deal with death this year. I have never had someone pass away in my life who was so close to me…to never return to me. I lost my one and only aunty October 12, 2018, and it was very devastating for me and my family. At times I found myself brokenhearted, sad, mad and confused because I knew it wasn’t her time to go. She wanted to do so much more, but I had to realize that she suffered every day with pain in her body. So just maybe it was her time to go be set free from pain at least this is what I will forever have to believe. To my loving aunty rest peacefully and I love you!

Doing the mental and spiritual work is not a one-time thing. This is an everyday thing, this is a life journey to keep sane, to keep going, and to stay happy. In all things keep God first and He will direct your path!

2019 is the year of Manifestation so all the things you have been working toward will start coming to past. You must first set the goals, and write the visions, you must do the work in order to create the change you are looking for.

Order Your Book An Unnecessary Breakdown Within Your Relationship

Owner of Destined With A Purpose, Author, Blogger, Realtor, and Entrepreneur

Email: tayniacoleman@gmail.com

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My Pain became My Purpose

January 15, 2013, a lot had changed for me. I DIVORCED a lot of difficult situations in my life. I left behind emotional pain, emotional turmoil, uncertainty, unbalance, depression, sadness, drama, mental and physical abuse, pain, rejection, sickness, and most of all I let go of a toxic marriage. Now, at the time I was going through all of this, I couldn’t see any of that, but today looking back over my life I see it all. I thank God for giving me the strength to find myself again, to find happiness again, to find joy again, and most importantly to find love again.

I was hurting, I was devasted because I couldn’t believe love didn’t love me.

Trapped in my mind, but most of all trapped in my heart along with my emotions. What was I to do in this situation, I couldn’t believe how things took a total turn for the worse. But, this was life, this was my life. This was my story I became torn between doing the right thing or still living a married life as a wife to a man that was already too far gone. I decided to do my own thang and eventually that wasn’t good enough anymore because I still felt an empty void. I searched for myself high and low, but I was nowhere to be found. I became cold and dangerous, I could care less about what was going on around me. There was no peace to be found, I began to drown my sorrows with liquor and wine. It was just me myself and I trying to figure out my next move, my escape, THE plan of action but I came up with nothing. Maybe because I did not want to be looked at as a failure is why I put up with so much. I can’t really tell you why I spent 9 yrs in a marriage that was really over after 3 yrs, but what I can tell you is that I learned a lot about myself and others. A lot about life, relationships and the lack thereof, I learned to depend on God more and to trust Him completely in the darkest time of my life.

I learned to let go of things that no longer serve a purpose for me in my life.

It’s no point of holding on to something that hurt you and brings harm to your body. Just let it go and if it’s meant to be, whatever it is, it will find it’s way back to you.

No drama, no setbacks, no more confusion just peace within my mind. No more staying up late nights concerning myself about someone else. I had to give it all to God, and the moment I fully put my trust in Him I became much clear with my purpose, my vision, and my passion here on earth.

How can you help somebody if you have never experienced anything?

My purpose is to serve others that’s been broken and left to pick up all the pieces. My purpose is to show you how to heal your heart and to love yourself again. My purpose is to show you how important forgiveness is in your life. My purpose is to show you how to turn your pain into your purpose. We were all out on this earth for a reason and I don’t believe it was just to suffer. Whatever you’re going through be sure to learn from it and grow from it.

In my upcoming book An Unnecessary Breakdown Within Your Relationship it will give you the keys to being in a happy space, keys to having a healthy life and keys to having a happy relationship. It will teach you how to forgive and be forgiven. After each chapter, I have included very powerful prayers to pray for yourself and your spouse. If you are going through a rough patch then this book will be for you.

Preorders will be available soon. As always GOD Bless!

Owner of Destined With A Purpose, Author, Blogger, Publisher, and Entrepreneur

Email: tayniacoleman@gmail.com

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The Mommy Life 

Sitting in this space contemplating my next step. As everyone says my next move has got to be my best move, I have people that depend on me. 

You see it’s not about me anymore, it’s about my family wants, needs, and desires. What will move us to the next level? I’ve got to focus and that is my focus to make sure that I don’t fail, or at least never give up trying. There is no half stepping when it comes to getting the job done. 

In Young Jeezy voice: I put on for my FAMILY

I’ve got to show my girls what it’s like to live out your dreams, what it’s like to set goals and accomplish them, what it’s like to put others before yourself. No matter how many lose’s we have faced I have and will never give up on us. See I am a mother, a soon to be Wife, I am a goal getter, a dream chaser. I have to show them (my children) the light of life.

When life hits them I will always be there to pick up the pieces because that’s what mom’s do. Your children have to know that if nobody has their back that their mommy does. Promises are not meant to be broken so, it literally irritates me when a person makes promise after promise and never keep them. 

Mom’s make it all happen no matter what the cost

Life can throw you for a loop sometimes but it’s up to you to decide how to handle the outcome. Every situation may not come out as planned, but that’s okay, learn to adjust and stay focused.

Living a “mommy life” is all about sacrifices for your children because at the end of the day they depend on you the most. There is no half stepping when it comes to them. They are always top priority.

If a situation arises that you feel that you can’t handle, talk it out. Get all the details, gather your thoughts, sleep on it, and pray on it. The answer will come to you, ask for guidance throughout every situation.

God will see you through…remember God won’t put more on you than you can bare.

God Bless

Taynia A. Coleman

Marriage: For Better or For Worse

I, (name), take you (name), to be my lawfully wedded (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.

Everybody is all for it when everything is smooth sailing. When the finances are just right, the bank account tight, the children are healthy, no one’s arguing and fighting, just contentment. When life falls into place for us we can’t help but be on a natural high because there is no stress, no failure, no pain, no suffering, no tears, everything and everybody is all walking on one accord. As much as we would love for it to stay this way life can happen at any moment. And what I mean by life, it means the roller coaster ride of the ups and downs of life, the tragedies, the attack on our marriages, the family, the silent drug problem, alcohol addiction, gambling, lying, cheating, deceit, your children are acting out, etc. It all can happen at any-time, it all can fall apart at any moment if we let it. Problems that we are dealing with internally, within ourselves can become even bigger if we don’t stop it in its tracks.

Change is inevitable we have to learn to embrace it head-on.

It’s important to stay prayerful and watchful while going through the good and the bad times.

You never know when you will need one of those prayers to pull on.

The bad times within a marriage can take a toll on the entire household.  The children can feel the effects and the stress of the arguments, and more than likely they will begin to act out. The first step is to try your best not to argue in front of the children, whatever it is should be discussed privately. Which is the hardest thing to do sometimes when you have to get things off your chest, but trust; there will be less confusion within the household.

Children should not hear every disagreement between you two. Only bring a situation to them after you and your significant other have come to a conclusion concerning them. By doing this it will not make them feel as though they need to choose a side. Stability is the key to winning in this area if it is an area of concern. Children need stability and consistency.

It is a balancing act especially when children are involved.

It is important to keep an open dialog to stay on track.

When you think about marriage you think of all the pretty things, all the excitement, and happiness but that’s not all marriage is. Can you stand the test of time, when things are turned upside down? Are you only invested in your relationship when everything is good, and not present when it all goes down? This is something to really dig deep and think about for a second. Did your vows mean anything to you at all or did you just say them because it is what’s normal?

In this instance, you should have realized, that it is very imperative to mean what you say and to say what you mean.

Get your vows out and think about what each and every statement mean to you. Try to figure out if you are in this for the long run, or just for the “good time” that don’t last always. Think about if you have your significant other back if they fail to be who you thought they were, or if they are struggling with something eternally. Are you the person that they can trust, the person that will never leave their side. For better or for worse, do you really mean it, it is definitely something to think about.

As always prayer and communication is the key to stand the test of time within any type of relationship. May God Bless Your Union.

God Bless,

Taynia A. Coleman

Owner of Destined With A Purpose, Blogger, and Entrepreneur

Website: www.tayniacoleman.com

Email: tayniacoleman@gmail.com

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taniya

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