Marriage: For Better or For Worse

I, (name), take you (name), to be my lawfully wedded (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.

Everybody is all for it when everything is smooth sailing. When the finances are just right, the bank account tight, the children are healthy, no one’s arguing and fighting, just contentment. When life falls into place for us we can’t help but be on a natural high because there is no stress, no failure, no pain, no suffering, no tears, everything and everybody is all walking on one accord. As much as we would love for it to stay this way life can happen at any moment. And what I mean by life, it means the roller coaster ride of the ups and downs of life, the tragedies, the attack on our marriages, the family, the silent drug problem, alcohol addiction, gambling, lying, cheating, deceit, your children are acting out, etc. It all can happen at any-time, it all can fall apart at any moment if we let it. Problems that we are dealing with internally, within ourselves can become even bigger if we don’t stop it in its tracks.

Change is inevitable we have to learn to embrace it head-on.

It’s important to stay prayerful and watchful while going through the good and the bad times.

You never know when you will need one of those prayers to pull on.

The bad times within a marriage can take a toll on the entire household.  The children can feel the effects and the stress of the arguments, and more than likely they will begin to act out. The first step is to try your best not to argue in front of the children, whatever it is should be discussed privately. Which is the hardest thing to do sometimes when you have to get things off your chest, but trust; there will be less confusion within the household.

Children should not hear every disagreement between you two. Only bring a situation to them after you and your significant other have come to a conclusion concerning them. By doing this it will not make them feel as though they need to choose a side. Stability is the key to winning in this area if it is an area of concern. Children need stability and consistency.

It is a balancing act especially when children are involved.

It is important to keep an open dialog to stay on track.

When you think about marriage you think of all the pretty things, all the excitement, and happiness but that’s not all marriage is. Can you stand the test of time, when things are turned upside down? Are you only invested in your relationship when everything is good, and not present when it all goes down? This is something to really dig deep and think about for a second. Did your vows mean anything to you at all or did you just say them because it is what’s normal?

In this instance, you should have realized, that it is very imperative to mean what you say and to say what you mean.

Get your vows out and think about what each and every statement mean to you. Try to figure out if you are in this for the long run, or just for the “good time” that don’t last always. Think about if you have your significant other back if they fail to be who you thought they were, or if they are struggling with something eternally. Are you the person that they can trust, the person that will never leave their side. For better or for worse, do you really mean it, it is definitely something to think about.

As always prayer and communication is the key to stand the test of time within any type of relationship. May God Bless Your Union.

God Bless,

Taynia A. Coleman

Owner of Destined With A Purpose, Blogger, and Entrepreneur

Website: www.tayniacoleman.com

Email: tayniacoleman@gmail.com

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taniya

via Marriage: For Better or For Worse — Get INSPIRED

Relationship Stages: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

The Good Times


Good times are always the best part of every relationship. The fun times are the greatest of all time, it’s a time period that you never want to end. Waking up in pure bliss because your heart is growing fonder for this relationship, falling in love over and over, again. Texting and calling throughout the day to make sure he’s not stressing at work, and him checking on you because he misses you. Being excited to make it home from a long day of work to lay up under bae, cuddle, talk, make sweet love. The sex is bomb because the chemistry between you two are like fireworks. What can top this feeling, nothing! There are no words that can describe this happy feeling in the air, nothing but love and happiness. And then…

The Bad Times

The Bad times don’t last long but they do take a lot out of your relationship. You lose focus on what’s important and how to make your relationship grow. The arguing is as consistent as it would be “in the ugly times” but it’s enough to make you go out and ponder what’s going on. This is a phase of ups and downs, one-moment y’all are cool, and the next your bickering for no real major reason. It just seems like you may need a little “me time ” which for some people getting some fresh air, or going for a walk to help clear your mind will get the job done. A lot of the time we bring home the frustrations of the world home and drop them on our partner’s lap without even knowing it. It’s ok to let him know how your day went, but it’s another to be angry and upset with him because of something your boss said to you.

Home is supposed to be your happy place, where there is peace and serenity. If you feel that you don’t have peace at home, or you all are arguing about the most dumbest thing I would advise you two to come together and have a long talk (without fighting) find out what issues are bothering him and vice versa. You can even pray about it and bring peace back into the atmosphere.

Where there is Love, there is also Peace

The Ugly Times

The Ugly times in a relationship will have you questioning your sanity. It’s worse than the bad times, it’s so much miscommunication that it will start to make you feel sick. Most times you can’t fully get your point across because either it comes out wrong, or it gets taken the wrong way. You began to think is this even worth fighting for, what are we doing, what am I doing?Constantly arguing, not being able to hear each other’s concerns, wants, or needs. On top of all of that, there is minimum to no sex, because of the lost of communication, there is no sex drive only frustration.

Not being able to see eye to eye has to be the worse.

It’s like no matter what you just can’t seem to get along. Every word, and every thought, and every feeling becomes a fight. The disrespect, dishonor is at an all-time low at this stage. Your only focus is to hurt each other with your words and actions something has to give!

Now, it is starting to affect your work, your off,  and everything feels like it’s falling apart. There is no win situation because your world is tumbling down. You began to feel as if you can’t breathe because there is no peace within your home. Something has to change but you don’t know what to change or how to change things. It’s a struggle sometimes, but if your relationship is going to work, you both have to reconnect and do the work apart (working on self), and together (working on the relationship as a whole).

Prayer does change things! This is not just a saying, this is real life situations.

Pray together, go to church together, turn your whole focus back to God, learn how to love each other the right way. God will lead you but you have to be willing to follow. Marriage/pre-marital counseling will always help in order to get the relationship heading in the right direction.

God Bless,

Taynia A. Coleman

Owner of Destined With A Purpose, Blogger, and Entrepreneur

Website: www.tayniacoleman.com

Email: tayniacoleman@gmail.com

Picture Credits: http://www.unsplash.com

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taniya

Bonding and Praying for Our Daughter’s

A mother is a daughter’s first best friend

One of the first and most important relationships we have in life is with our mother. She cares for you, nurtures you, protects you, and love you; unconditionally. From the womb, she comforts you, calms you, and maybe even sing to you. You feel every emotion that she feels while you’re still inside her womb because at this moment you are one. You are connected and although some relationships change you will always have a special connection with your mother.

Mother and daughter relationship is a special bond that spans the years. Through laughter, worry, smiles and tears. A sense of trust that can’t be broken, a depth of love sometimes unspoken. -Unknown

There are a lot of mother’s and daughter’s with an unbreakable bond, and then there are the not so good mother and daughter type of relationships. It’s sad to see the bond broken between a mother and daughter because the bond is so special. It makes a person wonder what could have caused this type of breakdown within their relationship.

The Reality of it is, is that there are a lot of mother’s that dislike their children because of their child’s father. In their eyes all they can see out of their child is the hurt pressed upon them from their child’s father. It’s not right, and it’s not fair to the child, this type of relationship can bring on psychological problems for both, mother and child. After so long the daughter/child starts to hate their mother for improperly loving them, which can and will bring on a lifetime of pain if no one seeks out help.

As a Mother of three girls myself, I pray for my children all the time. I pray that our relationships stay bonded and that they will always honor me as I honor my mother. I pray for their relationship as sister’s because sisters are important. I pray for us as a unit; as a family.

This is one of the most important relationships that I have because I know that in their hearts they will always love me and they will always cherish our bond. This does not mean that our relationship is perfect, but it is real and it is pure. For a mother to raise daughter’s I know first hand that it is not easy and it does get hard sometimes. Attitudes, pride, disrespect can creep in sometimes but you have to be able to stop that at the door so that the problem won’t escalate.

I made a vow to myself to always be by their side and to always guide them through this life.

No matter what the situation, it may be good or bad they will always have my support. It is always very important to talk to them on their level and to always give the best advice because they depend on you. Though it may not seem like it they are always watching, and listening to everything you say and do. I pray that I never misled them, or misguide them. I always ask God to protect them as any mother would do. I pray for our bond as mother and daughters because it is important to me.

Just a few tips to think about:

1. Always be a listening ear and an open ear to your child.

By showing them that you are trustworthy this will open doors for your relationship and they don’t be so reluctant to come and talk to you.

2. Never make them feel less important to you by never taking time out for them.

3. Check on them just to see how they are doing.

4. Love them wholeheartedly, never take your anger and frustrations out on them. They need you the most!

5. Remind them that they are beautiful, precious, and loved that way they won’t be so shocked when a boy tells them that. It will also give them confidence and it will start to build their self-worth.

6. Last but not least, remember that sometimes as young girls, they just need a hug and kiss to let them know they are adored. Hug your child and let them know everything is alright!

Remember how emotional you were as a girl? Learn to compromise and be understanding but please don’t get run over!

God Bless, Taynia

Owner of Destined With A Purpose, Blogger, and Entrepreneur

Email: tayniacoleman@gmail.com

Picture Credits: http://www.pexels.com

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taniya