Tips on Self Love & Self Care

As women or as people, in general, we are constantly going, going, and going. Most of the time it is never for self, but for loved ones, our spouses, children, parents, siblings, friends, the job and we are never taking the time out for self. In life, we were taught to pretty much keep going and never to take a moment to stop and take time to evaluate self and properly heal ourselves. In life, there are times where one must slow down to pace ourselves so that we can maneuver through life the correct way. Let’s be real sometimes your brain need a break or a new focus, and how can you get refocused without being still? Your body need rest as well.

Sometimes we have to steal time to regain composure for ourselves

Being still in order to get clarity or to get direction and guidance from the Holy Spirit or as some may say your inner/higher self, the first step is to stop and listen. That is the mission. To do that you must take time for self even if you sit for five minutes to calm yourself and/or pray. This practice will bring you peace, relaxation, and inner healing. As time goes on you may want to increase the time to 15, 30, 45 minutes up to an hour is the goal (something I am still working on myself). Pray, meditate, be still, or just sit write and listen.

Make a decision to take personal time out of your day, your week, your month to love on yourself. This can include going for a walk, sitting by the water, going to get some ice cream, getting your nails and /or hair done, a massage, going to get a checkup, taking yourself on a date etc.

Sometimes we need to take our minds off of the heavy reality of this thing called life. Especially if we want to find peace and be at peace in our lives.

7 tips on self-love & self-care (in no particular order)

  1. Be Still (talk to God and wait for an answer)
  2. Accept what is & what isn’t (you can’t control everything)
  3. Never compare or compete with others (you never know what they had to do to get there)
  4. Stop overthinking EVERYTHING!!!
  5. Take walks to clear your mind
  6. Sit by the water/fire and relax by reading a book or writing
  7. Always practice gratitude be thankful

Last but not least if you have lost yourself in the process of life you must learn yourself again. Find out what your likes and dislikes are, what you like to do and what you don’t like to do. Find the real you on this self-love journey. And remember it is not selfish to love on you because if you don’t love yourself how can you ever believe that someone else will truly love you.

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Making a list and checking it twice! Your Next Relationship will be Your Best Relationship

Write the vision and make it plain

What do you really want out of life and/or a relationship; think about that for a moment. That has been ringing in my head for days now and let me tell you why. I remember just going through a divorce and a year and a half later I decided that I was ready for a “real” relationship. Knowing exactly what I didn’t want in a relationship I created a list of everything that I did want and desire within a relationship. I put down all my dislikes on one side and all my likes on the other side.

It took me some time to compile the list because it became very complex once I started thinking about my worth and values, the things you want, need, and desire is very important. Knowing everything I wanted and deserved I believed I could obtain it. This was my only strategy for gaining a better relationship. It is imperative that you understand that I also had to work on myself through this process, to make sure that I was really ready for a relationship.

Sometimes it is easier to point out what you want and don’t want in a man, but what about your flaws, why would a man want to deal with any of your baggage/drama. No one wants to deal with drama so maybe it’s time for you to do a soul search and take inventory of yourself.

You have to do the work, it is imperative that you do.

Never start off a new relationship without breaking soul ties from your previous relationship/s. Do not bring anything or anyone else from your past into this new relationship because eventually there will be a breakdown. If you are still stuck in a past relationship, or a past hurt then maybe right now is not the time for a new relationship. Get yourself together and make sure you are ready for a new future with a new person.

DO THE WORK

After you’ve taken time out and did a little soul searching, then you will be able to compile two lists. One of the things you want and don’t want inside of a relationship, and the other of good and bad traits you do or don’t want in a man.

Start by listing the characteristics that you are looking for within a man on one side. Then list the characteristics that you can live without on the other side. For instance; if you love a man with a sense of humor write that down. Write down all of your likes and wants on the left side, and on the left side write down all of the dislikes. If you’re always happy and optimistic, then you do not want a pessimistic person in your personal life especially a significant other. In this case, opposites does not attract because a pessimistic person will find the bad in every situation which will become very draining, frustrating, and exhausting to a positive person.

After you are done making the list hang it up on your mirror (inside your room), or on your bedroom wall just so that you can see it and read it often. This will allow you to speak what you want into existence several times a day.

Knowing what you want, knowing the person that you need to become, and working toward that dream should be your main focus in life. Nothing else even matters at this point. Just focus on living your best life and do the work in order to manifest it.

God Bless!

Taynia A. Coleman

Owner of Destined With A Purpose, Blogger, and Entrepreneur

Email: tayniacoleman@gmail.com

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Daughter of A Daughter 

A daughter of a daughter, a child of a child, my mother had me at the tender age of 15 years old. Coincidentally; her mother, my grandmother (the youngest of her siblings) had her first born at the age of 15 years old as well (talk about family history repeating itself). Being that my mother […]

Karma: What Goes Around Will Come Back Around

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He can dish it out all the cheating, the lies, the disrespect but can he take the payback, does he ever think if it was ever worth it? These are the questions many men should ask themselves before stepping outside of their relationships and/or disrespecting the woman they say they love! Now, we all know that a man can cheat on his significant other with no problem, but he will still expect order in the household, he will still expect to be uplifted and valued as a King on the home front. Everything at home should still be the same although he has given her trust away, right?

Wrong, wrong, wrong!

A woman’s intuition is worth so much more than a man will ever understand

Let’s face it what goes around comes around it’s in the bible, it is a universal law. It’s called sowing and reaping according to Job 4:8 which states: Even as I have seen, they that plow iniquity, and sow wickedness, reap the same. It is always important to do unto other’s as you would want them to do unto you. If you can’t imagine your man/woman out cheating on you, giving someone else what’s yours then it’s simple do not go out and cheat on him/her and vice versa.

No matter how many times a woman forgives her man, if he continues to do the same thing without any change, eventually she is either going to A. leave him, or B. start cheating right along with him. Once this happens it will only keep getting worse. If a person is so unhappy then why stay in the relationship, sit down and have a long conversation and figure out if you two will continue to grow together or go your own separate ways. This is the best possible option and the most responsible one. It is an option that everyone will be able to respect at the end of the day.

A woman can only take so much…

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If a man would take the time to listen to a woman; she will tell him exactly what the issue is but you have to be willing to listen, and willing to adjust. A woman will without a doubt tell you when she has had enough and when she is done. Does her man ever take heed and listen? A lot of the time the answer is No, because he just think that it is a game; in his mind, he believes that she won’t ever leave him because she hasn’t done so yet. He continues to cheat on her leaving her lost, broken, and confused, and empty on so many levels.

It’s hard for the relationship to advance at this point. She will eventually shut down and once she has shut down there is no coming back. In her mind, she thinks that he had his chance to get it right, but didn’t take advantage of it so she leaves him mentally.

In her mind, it’s over but she hasn’t physically left the relationship yet. Once she has left the relationship in her mind there is a 99.9% chance that she has another man, or thinking about it heavy. She will eventually act on her thoughts and once she does that…it’s a wrap because now she has turned into THE liar, cheater, and deceiver. She will be in a place that she never thought was possible for her to be in.

Once the relationship has gone down this road there is no need to even continue.

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When he finds out about his woman infidelities he is going to leave her without a doubt (most men). A man can’t take the heartache, pain, rejection, and confusion that comes along with getting cheated on. His pride won’t let him. He won’t stick around as long as a woman would waiting for a change.

Ladies the best advice for when your relationship takes a turn for the worse and you have given your all is that you must take a stand. The cheating will only continue to happen if you allow it to. This is a lesson that took a long time for me to learn because I could never understand what I needed to do as a woman. The lesson was finally learned, and if you do not see progress, and keep finding yourself in the same spot time and time again you will need to take a bold step and be honest with yourself. Is this what you signed up for? Is this what you will continue to allow? Does this make you happy or feel less than a woman? Can you share your man with another woman? Does he really love you? Once you take the time and answer these questions truthfully you will have your answer. Honesty starts with yourself!

God Bless, Ms. Taynia

Owner of Destined With A Purpose, Blogger, and Entrepreneur

Website: www.tayniacoleman.com

Email: tayniacoleman@gmail.com

Picture Credits: http://www.unsplash.com

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Manifesting and Believing

In this life, have you ever felt the need to just be happy? The feeling just to be satisfied, just to be complete. This feeling that I have is indescribable, it’s like there’s so much to see and do in this world, but the problem is how do I go about manifesting everything I need in life?

Where much is given, much is required -Luke 12:48

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Those words have so much meaning to them. The more work you have, the more responsibility. The more money you have, the more responsibility. You have to know how much is too much! Don’t ask for something that you can’t handle. Take on as much as you can, but never more than you can handle. Some people just want all the luxury, but they do not want to work hard for it, we must know that hard work must always come into play…nothing is just given to you.

Keeping this in mind it is imperative that we have our mind in the right headspace. If you want more out of life stop doubting yourself.

Whatever you put your mind to don’t delay it, just do it! Set goals, and write them down. Say your daily affirmations and declarations, make a dream board and start working towards your dreams, pray and fast, seek God, daily. Seeing, saying, and doing these things everyday will began to transform your mindset, and you will start to see things coming into alignment. You have to create your future within your thoughts.

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A man is but the product of his thoughts what he thinks, he becomes. -Mahatma Gandhi

Things do not come to you by just wishing upon a star. God will send people your way or He will even give you signs to help you go in the right direction, but you have to know the signs, you have to pay attention. You can’t sit and wish you were employed: you actually have to get up and apply to several positions before being employed. If you don’t do your part, how can we expect God to do his part?

Faith without works is dead James 2:14

God Bless

Ms. Taynia A. Coleman

Owner of Destined With A Purpose, Blogger, and Entrepreneur
Picture Credits: http://www.pexels.com

Follow Ms. Taynia on INSTAGRAM

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