Making a list and checking it twice! Your Next Relationship will be Your Best Relationship

Write the vision and make it plain

What do you really want out of life and/or a relationship; think about that for a moment. That has been ringing in my head for days now and let me tell you why. I remember just going through a divorce and a year and a half later I decided that I was ready for a “real” relationship. Knowing exactly what I didn’t want in a relationship I created a list of everything that I did want and desire within a relationship. I put down all my dislikes on one side and all my likes on the other side.

It took me some time to compile the list because it became very complex once I started thinking about my worth and values, the things you want, need, and desire is very important. Knowing everything I wanted and deserved I believed I could obtain it. This was my only strategy for gaining a better relationship. It is imperative that you understand that I also had to work on myself through this process, to make sure that I was really ready for a relationship.

Sometimes it is easier to point out what you want and don’t want in a man, but what about your flaws, why would a man want to deal with any of your baggage/drama. No one wants to deal with drama so maybe it’s time for you to do a soul search and take inventory of yourself.

You have to do the work, it is imperative that you do.

Never start off a new relationship without breaking soul ties from your previous relationship/s. Do not bring anything or anyone else from your past into this new relationship because eventually there will be a breakdown. If you are still stuck in a past relationship, or a past hurt then maybe right now is not the time for a new relationship. Get yourself together and make sure you are ready for a new future with a new person.

DO THE WORK

After you’ve taken time out and did a little soul searching, then you will be able to compile two lists. One of the things you want and don’t want inside of a relationship, and the other of good and bad traits you do or don’t want in a man.

Start by listing the characteristics that you are looking for within a man on one side. Then list the characteristics that you can live without on the other side. For instance; if you love a man with a sense of humor write that down. Write down all of your likes and wants on the left side, and on the left side write down all of the dislikes. If you’re always happy and optimistic, then you do not want a pessimistic person in your personal life especially a significant other. In this case, opposites does not attract because a pessimistic person will find the bad in every situation which will become very draining, frustrating, and exhausting to a positive person.

After you are done making the list hang it up on your mirror (inside your room), or on your bedroom wall just so that you can see it and read it often. This will allow you to speak what you want into existence several times a day.

Knowing what you want, knowing the person that you need to become, and working toward that dream should be your main focus in life. Nothing else even matters at this point. Just focus on living your best life and do the work in order to manifest it.

God Bless!

Taynia A. Coleman

Owner of Destined With A Purpose, Blogger, and Entrepreneur

Email: tayniacoleman@gmail.com

Follow Ms. Taynia on INSTAGRAM

Relationship Stages: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

The Good Times


Good times are always the best part of every relationship. The fun times are the greatest of all time, it’s a time period that you never want to end. Waking up in pure bliss because your heart is growing fonder for this relationship, falling in love over and over, again. Texting and calling throughout the day to make sure he’s not stressing at work, and him checking on you because he misses you. Being excited to make it home from a long day of work to lay up under bae, cuddle, talk, make sweet love. The sex is bomb because the chemistry between you two are like fireworks. What can top this feeling, nothing! There are no words that can describe this happy feeling in the air, nothing but love and happiness. And then…

The Bad Times

The Bad times don’t last long but they do take a lot out of your relationship. You lose focus on what’s important and how to make your relationship grow. The arguing is as consistent as it would be “in the ugly times” but it’s enough to make you go out and ponder what’s going on. This is a phase of ups and downs, one-moment y’all are cool, and the next your bickering for no real major reason. It just seems like you may need a little “me time ” which for some people getting some fresh air, or going for a walk to help clear your mind will get the job done. A lot of the time we bring home the frustrations of the world home and drop them on our partner’s lap without even knowing it. It’s ok to let him know how your day went, but it’s another to be angry and upset with him because of something your boss said to you.

Home is supposed to be your happy place, where there is peace and serenity. If you feel that you don’t have peace at home, or you all are arguing about the most dumbest thing I would advise you two to come together and have a long talk (without fighting) find out what issues are bothering him and vice versa. You can even pray about it and bring peace back into the atmosphere.

Where there is Love, there is also Peace

The Ugly Times

The Ugly times in a relationship will have you questioning your sanity. It’s worse than the bad times, it’s so much miscommunication that it will start to make you feel sick. Most times you can’t fully get your point across because either it comes out wrong, or it gets taken the wrong way. You began to think is this even worth fighting for, what are we doing, what am I doing?Constantly arguing, not being able to hear each other’s concerns, wants, or needs. On top of all of that, there is minimum to no sex, because of the lost of communication, there is no sex drive only frustration.

Not being able to see eye to eye has to be the worse.

It’s like no matter what you just can’t seem to get along. Every word, and every thought, and every feeling becomes a fight. The disrespect, dishonor is at an all-time low at this stage. Your only focus is to hurt each other with your words and actions something has to give!

Now, it is starting to affect your work, your off,  and everything feels like it’s falling apart. There is no win situation because your world is tumbling down. You began to feel as if you can’t breathe because there is no peace within your home. Something has to change but you don’t know what to change or how to change things. It’s a struggle sometimes, but if your relationship is going to work, you both have to reconnect and do the work apart (working on self), and together (working on the relationship as a whole).

Prayer does change things! This is not just a saying, this is real life situations.

Pray together, go to church together, turn your whole focus back to God, learn how to love each other the right way. God will lead you but you have to be willing to follow. Marriage/pre-marital counseling will always help in order to get the relationship heading in the right direction.

God Bless,

Taynia A. Coleman

Owner of Destined With A Purpose, Blogger, and Entrepreneur

Website: www.tayniacoleman.com

Email: tayniacoleman@gmail.com

Picture Credits: http://www.unsplash.com

Follow Ms. Taynia on INSTAGRAM

taniya

Falling In Love; For Real This Time

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Just when I had given up on love, just when I made a commitment to stay focused on me, here comes real love. This love is a love that I have never known, it seems like a fairytale the way my hurt melts looking into his eyes. This love is what I thought I had way back when, but in reality, it doesn’t even compare. No disrespect, but there is a huge difference between someone saying that they love you, and someone actually taking the time out and showing that they love you.

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You see, he will always take the time out, to make sure that you’re safe and secure. You will be able to feel his love miles away because his heart beats that strong for you. It’s an indescribable feeling because it’s something so real.

Once you find real true love you will know because NO-THING can compare

Now I’m not trying to brag, just trying to drop some knowledge to you.

Like Erykah Badu says: Love of my life
You are my friend
Love of my life
A dude I can depend, yeah, yeah Love of my life
Feels like a simple true love, yeah

Real love is out there, you just need to be open to it. You too can find love again. Whatever, you have been through should always be a lesson of what NOT to do, again.

Real Men do still existence we just have to stop going for the first guy that says hello. You’re worth way more than that and you have to know and believe that. Your value is as precious as rubies per Peoverbs 31:10.

Proverbs 31:10

(KJV) 10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

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God created you to be virtuous and to take charge, but also to be soft, gentle, and to be a helpmate to your husband. You can’t be the help he needs if you’re always in charge. You have to know when to turn it off and when to turn it on. What works out in the field will not fly at home, because God called the man to be the head.

Sometimes we have to step aside and let the man lead and guide us.

He is there to protect you, lead you, and guide you. He is there to love you like no one else ever will. If you are not able to let him lead, then maybe you should say a quick prayer and ask for God to lead and guide you. Ask God to show you how to step back and let your husband lead, and TRUST me…God will show you.

Lastly, Ladies, if he is leading you the Godly way, and properly investing into your relationship, then let him stay focused.

God Bless

Ms. Taynia A. Coleman

Owner of Destined With A Purpose, Blogger, and Entrepreneur
Picture Credits: http://www.pexels.com

Follow Ms. Taynia on INSTAGRAM

taniya